174: Bad Advice, Blunt Questions & Resting Bitch Tongue

Rosie (00:00)
be articulate. Roula

Roula (00:02)
You're always

articulate.

Rosie (00:06)
Thank I don't feel it though, but thank you. Articulate Rosie.

Roula (00:11)
Yeah, well,

Friday I'm going to cut my hair finally. I don't know why is this relevant, but I hit record Thank you.

Rosie (00:15)
Your hair looks amazing.

It does, you look really

fresh. Like when we came on before, I thought, wow, and I don't think I've seen you in green before. I like it. And you've got your gold chain. Why?

Roula (00:27)
No, you know why I feel fresh?

Because I had migraine for like three, four weeks on the row and only now like last week I started treating myself again. That's why. Yeah.

Rosie (00:39)
I can see the difference. I can see the

difference. Wow. Gosh, that's a long time.

Roula (00:47)
I have a question for you.

Rosie (00:49)
Hit me.

Roula (01:02)
This is I have no answer, no idea. So tell me, I hope you do. Rosie, do you remember an advice that you were given? You believed it until one day you find out that it's so much bullshit and not true.

Rosie (01:05)
god, ⁓

Something does come to mind. You were just saying I'm articulate. I don't know how to articulate this because I don't remember the exact way it was said. But tell me if you relate to this. Often when you're having a difficult time, you're struggling. It might be a new job or you've just started something new and you really like it feels too hard and you got to the point.

You just want to quit or walk away, do something else. And something I've been told a lot is just stick it out a bit longer. It's too soon to know. Keep trying. Or just keep going. Just keep going. And I have told people this before. And an example that comes to mind is my sister. I'm embarrassed sharing this. But she moved to England ⁓ not long after mum died.

And she was having a really difficult time. And I just kept saying, no, just stay, like stick it out, like just give it some time. It's really difficult moving. And when, when there's a change, like it's really hard. This is normal. Stick it out. And things did get better for her, but I don't like admitting this. There were like probably a good two years where things weren't okay.

and she was having a really hard time. So how long is it before you go, that's long enough now. And like, holy shit. But have you ever heard this? Has someone told you this or have you told other people? Like just give it a go, a bit longer.

Roula (02:50)
That's it.

sure. I have. I'm sure I received an advice that was bullshit. I can't remember exactly what it is, but I can confirm without doubt. I'm sounding very pretentious now that I had plenty of advices when I was younger in Lebanon that were all bullshit. Like for example. Okay.

Rosie (03:19)
Yes.

Mm. Bullshit.

Roula (03:32)
Like for example, you should only have sex after marriage.

this advice, you know, and I compare it to this. When you buy a watermelon and you open it, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. What if I have sex after marriage and it's bad? Shouldn't I be testing it before?

Rosie (03:41)
Hmm.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yeah, that's fair. a good, that's... Right, it's, it's, that example really kind of explains it well how some advice is just bullshit. And I don't want to start a religious or cultural debate because I know some people believe very strongly you should save yourself till after marriage. We're not going there. Not going there. Your experience. Right. Yes. And I'm with you on that for sure.

Roula (04:04)
This advice is so bad!

Yeah. I'm just talking about my experience. My experience.

Rosie (04:32)
I want to go back to my example I gave. It's fucking bullshit. It is bullshit and I cannot believe I gave my sister that advice. What a load of bullshit. Bianca, I am so sorry and in fact recently I apologised to her for it.

Roula (04:41)
Well...

Yes, Bianca, I really hope you're listening, it's your sister is so sincere. Rosie, I must ask this question also to my daughters. I bet I gave them some bullshit advices. I don't know what.

Rosie (05:04)
fuck yes, I'm sure you did. Yes. You have

to try your best not to react when they tell you, because you're going to get defensive, I guarantee it.

Roula (05:13)
Yeah, it will take me some time to realize that it was a bad advice. So, yeah, I mean, to have an example of a really bad advice, I accept that all the advice that I had when I was younger. I don't know. I'm sure I give bad advice. What happens now more often than not is people giving others and maybe I'm doing it to advice on what to eat, what not to eat, how to lose weight, what to do.

Rosie (05:19)
Yeah.

Hmm.

Roula (05:43)
These are, in my opinion, like the epitome of bullshit advices because no one knows how others' body will react.

Rosie (05:52)
You know what I call this?

Unsolicited advice. Fuck off. That example of what to eat. I feel like this is something a lot of people do. No?

Roula (05:58)
Hmm.

I don't think so. I don't think this

is an unsolicited advice because so many of us these days, especially because on social media, there is so much like eat protein like this, eat protein like that, don't eat this. We're starting to be brainwashed that we must eat something to make us lose weight.

Rosie (06:14)
Yeah.

true.

Roula (06:21)
They don't feel it's unsolicited. were hanging. They are hanging on each word you say. Yeah.

Rosie (06:25)
Yes, if they're interested in it, yes, yes.

yeah, ⁓ there's so much of it.

Roula (06:32)
And that's the

thin line now that you're talking about this. When we give an advice to someone who's hanging on each word to get hope or to know what to do to make a difficult decision and then someone comes and give an advice that is not verified, it gives you, it makes you act upon and later you think, shit, maybe that wasn't the best thing for me to do.

Rosie (06:55)
Hmm.

This is why critical thinking skills are so important. This is why we really need to model and teach the younger generations how to think for themselves. And I actually think Gen Z, Gen Alpha are getting very good at thinking for themselves, almost to the point where they feel they have to disagree with everything.

Roula (07:23)
love what you're saying. I love it. It's so true. And it's okay. We have to get used to it and accept it. Learn from it.

Rosie (07:32)
Yeah, like I,

totally, and I like to think I question a lot of things. I like to think I'm pretty good at it, but there are still things that I don't question that I probably should. It's like we are given advice as children or young adults and we think it's bullshit, like we realize it's bullshit, but then we perpetuate this bullshit advice by then telling it to our children.

Fuck! Maybe it's a rite of passage. Yeah.

Roula (07:59)
Yes, it happens.

It could be, you know, I do think you question things a lot. And in the beginning, I had to get used to you and that term, because, yeah, like you, you're questioning so many things. And I'm so tired now.

Rosie (08:10)
Mmm.

Yeah! And did it

come across as a bit confrontational at first? And maybe rude?

Roula (08:28)
No, not rude, not rude at all. Confrontational, yes. But I do have someone at home who's like this. My husband, he questions everything. I cannot come to him with an advice that he wouldn't question. It's like, where did you get this from? Did you research it? Are you sure? And then ⁓ I feel like, okay, I'm going back. I will return with more information.

Rosie (08:30)
Yeah True

Right. Right. Yeah.

Yeah,

it's something that I'm, I am becoming more self-aware of because I, I don't know, I always just think, well, of course you're gonna ask questions. And in my mind, it's showing that I'm interested and I wanna know more.

But it comes across, it can come across, especially to people who aren't used to it or don't have someone in their life who questions things, as confrontational or that you don't respect them. And some people shut down. They think, this person doesn't believe me, and they just stop.

Roula (09:25)
Yeah!

True.

Rosie (09:34)
Like, come on! But not everybody's like that. Sure, go for it.

Roula (09:36)
Can I give an unsolicited advice? Okay.

It's, you know, it's not that you are curious. It's wrong. It's not that you ask questions wrong. I like always to remember it's the word words we use is the way we ask that make people open up or shut down. You know, and

Rosie (10:00)
True, yeah. I can be quite blunt.

Roula (10:05)
Yeah, you can be blunt.

Rosie (10:06)
Wow! Is

this a resting bitch tongue moment? I did.

Roula (10:11)
you remember that, but I love it when you're

blonde. I'm learning from it. I'm becoming someone who asked more questions than before, not becoming so I worked on it because I had to go through so much to get to that point where it's OK. And it's OK to ask questions because it's not only the person shut down because you're asking question. The another person have also to say.

Rosie (10:19)
That's awesome.

Hmm

Yes, yes.

Right.

Roula (10:39)
It's okay to ask questions. It doesn't mean less intelligent or less knowledgeable. It doesn't define who I am. Okay, so that was it, the advice episode.

Rosie (10:43)
right.

right yeah

Yes, I feel like I have so much more to say. I'm going to have people going, Rosie, it is important to stick things out. So whatever. Hit me with your fucking criticism, people. I have more to say on it, but we are not here to ramble and fucking listen to a lecture about it. So thank you for listening. This was actually, this was fun. I enjoyed it.

Roula (10:58)
Yeah?

Thank you

so much. Thank you so much for listening. Bye.