196: Going to a Concert Alone - Managing Anxiety and How to Navigate Big Crowd

Roula (00:02)
Rosie, you said you have something for me.

Rosie (00:02)
Rula, I

do, because I know you love music and I just, I always think to you talking about how you went to the Alanis Morissette concert by yourself and how that was a bit of a thing for you and you had to think about and confront, you know, whether you wanted to go by yourself. Well, there is a band called AC/DC. Do you know them?

Roula (00:28)
It's the same band AC/DC, Highway to Hell and yeah.

Rosie (00:30)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Of course. Right. Big band. Yeah. Dad loved them. Okay. And I enjoy their music. I haven't listened in a while, I wouldn't say I'm a super fan, but their music's just great. They're coming to Australia. They're having a few concerts at the end of the year. And a few months ago, I was like, Oh, should I go? And I talked myself out of it because I was like, well, it would just be me. But what do you think?

Should I buy a ticket and go see AC/DC?

Roula (01:14)
You know, you know what I'm gonna say. Do you really want to hear my answer?

Rosie (01:17)
Yeah, come on, I need

to, I do really want to hear your answer, yes.

Roula (01:22)
Look, if you're gonna do it because it will bring back these nice warm memories about your father, I say 100%, 200%, you should go. If that's your purpose, you should go. And you know what, Rosie? This is you bringing your father's memory alive.

Rosie (01:32)
Yeah, yeah.

Totally.

Mmm.

Roula (01:45)
And why not? I mean, you miss him. And this is the closest thing that will bring you to him. Physical thing.

Rosie (01:49)
Mmm!

Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Damn straight why fucking not? See? I knew you were the person to ask about this. I don't even know if tickets are available anymore. They're probably really expensive now that it's getting closer to the time. I think it would be fun. It would be scary by myself. But yeah, it's a way to remember my dad and just feel closer to him. And I think it would be so much fun. Like...

Roula (01:57)
Why not?

What's scary

about it?

Rosie (02:24)
I have bit of social anxiety. I don't like big crowds. I get really self-conscious and I like going somewhere with someone I trust. Like if you were coming with me, I wouldn't be anxious. I'm like, yeah, let's go, let's have some fun. But if it's just me, there's something so scary about it. It's just me. Yes, you sure can.

Roula (02:44)
Can I give you a tip? A couple of tips.

Okay, I have crowd anxiety because I'm small and everyone is tall and it gets crowded. I feel I can't breathe and because I'm in my barymenopause, I have a lot of, I have hot flashes, but I also have panic attacks. being in a crowd is terrible. And going to so many concerts lately, I found the solution. What I do, I buy a seat ticket, not a standing ticket.

Rosie (03:18)
Mm-hmm.

Roula (03:19)
I go just before the supporting act is going to finish. Why? Everyone is already inside, I don't have to walk with the crowd. I comfortably walk into the venue, go the stairs, maybe go to the toilet, put my jacket somewhere, or I take my jacket with me actually. I get my drink and then I walk to whatever entrance I should be in.

Rosie (03:26)
⁓

Mm-hmm.

Roula (03:48)
and

I go to my seat. I'm doing this alone. I'm not in the crowd feeling this anxiety. This helps me so much. And also I time when I'm going to leave. For example, well, with Alanis and with Lenny Kravitz, I left with the crowd. My husband was with me. Well, with Alanis, I was alone, but...

Rosie (03:54)
Yes.

Roula (04:15)
I felt unconfident to go alone. You know, when you do something for the first time after a very long time, it's anxious, but when you do it more often, it's easier. But lately, we went to a concert of a very famous Dutch band, huge band, and I left earlier because, and really, this is something remarkable. When I went to Lenny Kravitz and to Alanis, the crowd was a little bit diverse, but when I went to this... ⁓

Rosie (04:24)
Right, yeah, yeah.

Roula (04:45)
a Dutch ⁓ band, mostly were Dutch people, white Dutch people, and they're really tall. I felt going with the crowd out, it's going to be for me very tough because I'm small. I decided to leave a bit earlier.

Rosie (04:53)
Mm-hmm. ⁓

Mm.

Roula (05:08)
when I felt this is the last song, even if one more song will come, it's okay, I'm gonna sacrifice this song for my own health. I left earlier. Yeah, it's what my husband and I, call it. I can't find the right words in English, but we say be prepared for getting away from somewhere.

Rosie (05:13)
Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like an exit strategy. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ Yeah. And then you feel a bit more in control. It's like you don't have to be in the super overwhelming. Yeah, okay. I better look up dates. I might have to like not work in the last week of the school term. I'll say, see you later suckers. I'm going to see AC/DC. ⁓

Roula (05:31)
Yes, exit strategy.

But you know what's funny? I'm talking about these things because I'm too short and you're very tall. Probably you're taller than the average Australian woman.

Rosie (05:56)
Yeah, I am very tall.

Yeah, yeah, this is true. Yeah, yeah. my anxiety isn't so much about people being taller than me, but it is very, I still get claustrophobic with people everywhere and I, find loud noise really overwhelming, overstimulating. And of course,

Roula (06:18)
take it. I

put my air... ⁓

Rosie (06:22)
AirPods. Earplugs.

Roula (06:23)
I forgot the name.

AirPods in my ears or earplugs. I don't listen to concerts without my ear protection.

Rosie (06:28)
Okay, yeah.

Yeah, look at you. Wow. Yeah, maybe I need some ear protection. I definitely need an AC DCT shirt. Like, my goodness. And I probably need to brush up on some of their music because I want to be able to join in, you know.

Roula (06:47)
brush up on their music, get, I mean t-shirt is optional of course, but you can, ear protection and Google the venue, the entrance, the seat, you know, just prepare your way before you go.

And you know, dear listeners, this is not just Rosie and Di and this is not just about the concert. It could be anywhere where you feel panic attack, anxiety, because it's crowded, it's too hot. So many people want to know where the exit is, just because they need to know there's a way out for whatever feeling, dangerous feeling they have. Being prepared beforehand is so important.

Rosie (07:06)
Good thinking.

Mmm, and it's controlling what you can. Like yes, both of us can get very anxious, but you're talking about how you controlled when you entered the stadium, what sort of ticket you bought, when you leave. That's all stuff within your control, even though it's still an overwhelming, anxiety-inducing environment, you controlled what you could to make it more manageable. Frickin' love it! Good advice.

Roula (07:51)
Yeah.

Absolutely. And more

often than not, Rosie, the beginning is scary and anxious. And then when you go with the flow, you might feel so comfortable that your experience will change. For me, every time it becomes happier. And I want to go more to concerts.

Rosie (08:01)
Mmm.

Yeah,

yeah, love it. All right, I need to investigate ticket prices and venue locations, because I don't even know if I'll be able to get there in time, but I will investigate. I'm going to explore this opportunity.

Roula (08:21)
Yes.

listeners around the world, in Australia, everywhere, are you going to the AC/DC concert? And if not, what's the last concert you've been to or you even watched on YouTube? Let us know. We really want to hear of new bands. I love to hear about new bands.

Rosie (08:34)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes,

yes, that would be awesome. Let us know. Yeah, introduce us to some new bands, some new genres, some new music. Yeah.

Roula (08:55)
I love

that. Thank you for listening. Bye.

Rosie (08:58)
Bye!