217: The Pressure of The New Year is EXHAUSTING

Roula (00:00)
When people look back to at New Year's Eve or the day after, look back at the year that passed. I feel there is this pressure.

Rosie (00:05)
Mm.

Roula (00:10)
that you have to name the exciting things that happened in your year.

Rosie (00:15)
Oof. Yeah.

Roula (00:18)
And sometimes, most of the time, I don't know how much, how often, the year are passing by just like the other. major happen or, you know, it's quiet. It's not a remarkable year. So how can we, my question to you, Rosie, is how can we take this pressure of praising each year as

as an obligation.

Rosie (01:01)
such an interesting one because yeah, I hear you on that. There is this pressure. But part of me also knows that acknowledging and looking back on our achievements is really beneficial. I think what needs to change is our definition of what an achievement is. It could be something small. Like, man, I got through this year. It was so hard.

I should be really proud of that.

Oh, I had a difficult conversation with my partner earlier in the year. That was really brave. Oh, I went to a concert when I was really anxious about it. I don't know, maybe something like that. I feel like those sort of things are important because otherwise we just go on in life and we downplay those little things.

Roula (02:00)
Wow, you know, you're telling me this and I feel probably that would be the only reason why I want to have a diary. To write down this little beautiful moment and not the big ones because I will forget them.

Rosie (02:09)
Yeah

Yeah, right.

Yes, yes. And you know what? I have been pondering, thinking about whether, pondering, it is a good word, thinking about whether I might like to journal this year, just as a way to get my thoughts out. But also, yeah, maybe I want to look back and go, yeah, look at what I, or even not journaling, like even if you just, I don't,

Roula (02:23)
I like the word pandering.

Rosie (02:41)
I know if journaling has to be paragraphs and paragraphs of writing, but even if you're just putting something down each day or each week, maybe not the pressure of each day, of a little something positive.

Roula (02:53)
That's so awesome. Cause even journaling feel like a pressure. So you have to write something, out the right pages. Just bullet points on that day. Oh, I went to the concert on my own and I felt so proud. And then maybe 10 days later, you still haven't wrote, written anything exciting or remarkable. But I say exciting. I don't mean only happy things because we should write the good and the bad cause

Rosie (02:57)
It does, that's right. That's why I've never bloody done it. Yes, exactly.

Yeah!

Yeah! And if you-

And that's OK. Yeah.

Right.

Roula (03:23)
They all impact us.

Rosie (03:25)
Yeah they do. That's right! Why do we have this obsession of only the good things? We can't talk about the bad things.

Roula (03:32)
You know what brought me to this question too? my goodness. that all the hype around 31st of December is getting into me because people behave like it's, it's the last day of the year, but also it's like, it's the last day of their life because everything is excessive. The behavior, the drinking, the partying, everything is so excessive on that evening or the whole day that

Rosie (03:40)
Hmm.

Right.

Yes, yeah. Yeah.

Roula (04:02)
It exhausts me. just want it to be a normal day. Why can't it be?

Rosie (04:06)
Yeah,

I treated it like a normal day. here's a question. Did you set yourself any New Year's resolutions? What's your opinion on that?

Roula (04:16)
I don't do that ever. Ever. Never. All my life I had this question, these 24 hours, what difference are they making? Everything is coming back to normal. It's just a day. I never, never believed in New Year resolution.

Rosie (04:19)
ever. Have you, you've never done it in the past?

Yeah, it's just a day. Yeah. Yeah, this is true.

I didn't write any this year. I don't think I did last year either. In the past, have felt it is a bit like a pressure, but also it's almost like this motivation, like, yeah, new year. There's really nothing different. It's just another day like any other day in the year, but there's this pressure and this hype and it's new year, new you, that sort of thing. And I've written goals in the past. I rarely ever achieved them. Although I stumbled across, I can't,

if it was a handwritten note, it might have been one on my notes app on my phone because I was clearing through the notes and deleting things and there was one with old New Year's resolutions from years and years ago and one of them was to start a podcast and I'm like hey I did that I set the goal very long time ago but hey I ended up doing that that's cool I didn't do it the year I set it but I was like ⁓ that's cool but yeah I ⁓ yeah

Roula (05:32)
Yeah,

I work with months and days and seasons. I don't work with the year. So what I work for myself is that I know before the summer, the spring period, I will have all the energy to be creative, to work on my fitness goals, because I have a goal this summer. I want to...

Rosie (05:55)
Okay,

so you set goals throughout the year.

Roula (05:58)
Yeah, throughout the year, exactly. So for example, now it's winter, it's cold, we're inside. My goal is to work more on our podcast, to take the time and be productive. I don't have a year resolution because whatever I want to be in life or become, I already know it. And I don't need 31st of December to decide on it.

Rosie (06:01)
Yeah, as it makes sense.

people set these lofty goals and they start off really motivated in the new year and then it falls off because the hype disappears and it gets hard. Yeah.

Roula (06:33)
So what motivates them? Where

is, what is this motivation coming from? Where?

Rosie (06:38)
Clearly the

new year is not enough to motivate us.

Roula (06:41)
I mean, first of January is

the most depressing day on earth, in my opinion. The whole month of January, it's so dark. For us in the Netherlands, yeah, it's dark, it's rain. See the difference? So January for you is not a dark month.

Rosie (06:46)
Oh, why? Oh true, for you. Not for me. Yeah. Yeah. Not

at all, no, no.

Yeah, I find the new year weird. I didn't do anything special. didn't, you know, there was no partying, there was no drinking. I was up past midnight. I was just sitting with a friend and we... Yeah, it wasn't anything different.

Roula (07:16)
The new year for me is my birthday. Cause this is the day I'm born. This is the new year for me. This like the new year for me is the day I'm born. It's my birthday.

Rosie (07:30)
⁓ I see

your birthday is what you consider the new year. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Roula (07:34)
This is personal. I

was born on this day. And that's my new year.

Rosie (07:39)
Yeah.

That's a cool way of looking at it. literally your new year. Yeah.

Roula (07:48)
Yeah, it's I don't know for whom is listening to this one fuck with this new year resolution work towards your own goal your happiness throughout the year. Yeah. Yay.

Rosie (07:48)
Yeah.

Take the pressure off, man. Take the pressure off the New Year stuff. Take the

pressure off. And people go, what are your New Year's resolutions? You go, I don't know any. And don't say it with shame. They might look at you like, really? Yeah, don't be ashamed.

Roula (08:13)
Exactly. And please don't feel

embarrassed if you didn't achieve anything in your new year, if your past year wasn't exciting, if you have been laying in bed most of the time, you're looking for a job, you're just trying to feed your kids. Life is much more than, goodness, yes, yes. Praise yourself for every morning you wake up, you get out of bed and you do the things you have to do. That's most important thing.

Rosie (08:31)
That is achievement enough.

Yes,

yes, I agree. I don't really think we solved any problems this episode, but I guess often we don't. So yes, we do love you listeners. Drop a comment, consider buying us a coffee, and we will see you in the next episode.

Roula (08:45)
We love you!