33: Why Celebrating Yourself Matters

Roula (00:00)
Listen, my husband is not a man of words very much. He wrote the longest review I've ever seen in my life. It's like three pages.

Rosie (00:00)
So you should.

Aww, that's so nice!

Roula (00:18)
Whether you agree with them or not, the Rosie and Rula show will make you think, make you laugh, and maybe even make you feel a little less alone in your own quirks. It's the kind of podcast that feels like a conversation with your funniest, most opinionated friends. The ones who aren't afraid to say exactly what's on their minds, highly recommend.

Rosie (00:36)
you

Yes!

That's exactly what we want. That's amazing. That's amazing.

Roula (00:47)
And I can tell you, like he wrote one, two, three, four huge paragraphs.

Rosie (00:52)
my god. Wow.

Roula (00:54)
I think he's really proud of us. He's our biggest cheerleader.

Rosie (00:56)
Aww. Yeah,

that's amazing.

Roula (01:11)
wow, you look fabulous.

Rosie (01:13)
Thank you. I feel fabulous. I never say that. I never say that. I actually look in the mirror now. I'm like, hey.

Roula (01:22)
I love myself, that's how you feel right? I love it, yeah. Well I'm so glad you say it because not enough women look in the mirror and say, I love how I look today.

Rosie (01:23)
Yeah! Right? I'm like, huh. Yeah.

have never thought that ever. This was a first. I was like, wow, this is a new feeling and I like it.

Roula (01:44)
That's so cool. That's so cool. You know, last week I had this feeling too when I was lifting weight at the, at my, doing personal training because I really need someone to help me get on track with my fitness. And I'm lifting the weight in front of the mirror and I'm like, I look fucking hot doing this. And then, shit, it's so good to say it out loud for once.

Rosie (01:57)
Mm-hmm.

Yes!

Yes.

Right? that's so good. I love that for you.

Roula (02:14)
Yeah, mean, OK, the message here in this short loving ourselves moment is that you must love yourself from now on or every now and then. It's so important.

Rosie (02:20)
Yeah.

Okay, let's talk about that. This

can be our question. We're doing the episode back to front, but.

Roula (02:30)
Yeah,

let's do that. Back to front, I love it. It's like wearing your shirt back to front. And we will keep it back to front today. We love it.

Rosie (02:32)
Yes!

Yeah!

Why not? Exactly. So is it okay to tell people how proud we are of ourselves, how happy we are, how good we feel? Is that acceptable? Or is that just rude?

Roula (03:00)
Hmm. I think people want to be humble because they don't want to sound arrogant or too full of themselves. But we do not praise ourselves enough for the good thing we do or for the good feeling we have. We don't do this because again, and I think this is going to be a recurring sentence from my side, we care more about how we make an other feel.

Rosie (03:16)
Mmm!

Roula (03:28)
in the conversation, then how do we genuinely feel? So if I tell you, Rosie, gosh, I really feel like I look awesome today, you will think, goodness, she's so fucking arrogant. I don't think she looks awesome.

Rosie (03:33)
Mm!

fuck is that about though? That pisses me off. Okay, what about this?

Roula (03:49)
If we do

it more, people will start loving themselves. But it has to be also gentle. Yes, we don't want to go into arrogance. We want to go into humility. And praising ourselves is in a way, we are proud of what we are and what we have, not because we want to show off.

Rosie (03:55)
Hmm

Mmm.

Roula (04:17)
just because this motivates us to keep on doing the work.

Rosie (04:21)
Yeah, yeah, it's not arrogant to share these things. There's a difference between arrogance and sharing it with others. You wanna share how good you feel. You're not saying it to talk down to others or to make them feel bad. That to me is arrogance. But if you're just sharing.

Roula (04:43)
There's an opportunity. So I see you and I ask you, hi Rosie, how are you feeling today?

How can you answer me? Okay, but this is such a boring, does not say anything about you. If I really care of knowing how you feel, you can tell me, I feel fabulous today. I'm so happy yesterday. I launched my podcast and I feel so proud. Yeah, why not? We talk down everything. We talk down how we feel about ourselves. We talk down how we feel about our achievement.

Rosie (04:52)
I'm good.

It is boring. Yeah.

Okay, Mmm.

So Rula, how do you feel today?

Roula (05:22)
Mm.

feel fabulous. I'm even wearing already my gym stuff because I'm so ready to go to the gym. My gym shoes? Yeah.

Rosie (05:27)
YESSSS

You're ready to go. You got your gym shark singlet

on. You're ready to show off the muscles. Yeah.

Roula (05:40)
Yeah,

because you know what I realized? Even when I go to the gym, if I'm dressed in a way that makes me feel good in my body, I enjoy my training more.

Rosie (05:53)
Yes. Yes.

Roula (05:55)
And this is, think, what brought me to this realization in front of the mirror that, I look so good just because I had also the right outfit. If I'm wearing a shirt and I'm sweating all over it and the shirt is like from, I don't know, 1986 for my father, wearing it with a legging that looking really not bad, not good on my skin, and I lift weight, yeah, I don't want to see this in the mirror.

So it's little efforts that we can do to feel good about ourselves, upgrade ourselves rather than just whatever.

Rosie (06:24)
Mmm.

Upgrade.

Be intentional, right? You're being intentional how you show up at the gym.

Roula (06:37)
that's the right word.

Rosie (06:42)
No, I like Upgrade. Let me Upgrade you. I'm sure that's a song. Probably a Beyonce one. She's overrated.

Roula (06:52)
Wait, I was talking about Beyonce. No, no, we can't because she's so popular.

Rosie (06:54)
Let, no, let's not go there. I feel like I brought it up.

She is, but God, anyway, anyway, moving on. What was the question at the beginning of this episode? Cause I forgot.

Roula (07:07)
Is

it okay to feel good about yourself and voice it out?

Rosie (07:12)
yes. Well, what's your one word answer? Yes or no?

Roula (07:18)
Definitely. Yes.

Rosie (07:20)
Okay,

you created another option. Yes, definitely. I agree. Absolutely it is. And is it the same in the Netherlands? I think it probably is. I feel like this could be a universal thing. In Australia, it's called tall poppy syndrome. So imagine there's a field of poppies and if you are sharing how you feel and celebrating your wins, you're the poppy that's growing taller than all the others and you are the center of attention and that is not okay.

Roula (07:50)
This is not cultural, this is behavioral. And what you're saying, Rosie, is so true. Yes, we have to praise ourselves and stay humble and show interest in others, reflect this positivity on others. We don't want to praise ourselves and make the other feel like shit because yes, okay, now I'm going back into we care about how the other feel. But if we make a balance between

training ourselves on feeling positive and showing it and showing curiosity in the other to lift up their spirit, then we're not this person who wants to be like the one person in the room that everyone listen and talk to. No, we want to be engaging the others. So if we praise ourselves and ask the others, what are you proud of today?

Rosie (08:35)
Hmm

Yes.

Mmm.

Roula (08:46)
And you know, this is difficult question because people will feel they have nothing to be proud of. But you know what? Getting up on time and getting your kids to school without argument, with a good smile on the faces, this is something to be proud of. know, take this phone call that you've been avoiding to take for ages because it's a difficult conversation. This is something to be proud of.

Rosie (08:54)
Yeah.

It's a big fucking deal. Mm-hmm.

Roula (09:14)
It's not always about achievement and about doing something extraordinary. It's about the little things every day. And when we show curiosity, we are inclusive in the celebration.

Rosie (09:17)
Mmm.

Mm.

So the moral of the story is it is definitely, to use Roula's word, okay, to share what you are proud of and how you are feeling with other people. It is not arrogant. You are sharing and you are...

leaning in with curiosity.

But we want to know what are you proud of? Shout it from the rooftops. Send us a message. Go to our fancy website. We're very proud of it. Very proud. It's beautiful. rosieandroula.com Send us a message. What are you proud of?

Roula (09:59)
We're proud of our website. Rosie made it. We didn't hire anyone to make it. So Rosie is proud of the website she made. It's really making us happy. And if you look at it and you're a web designer, you will think it's crap, but we don't care. So what are you proud of other than your fancy website?

Rosie (10:03)
Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah! Exactly.

What, me?

Roula (10:24)
No, the web designer that will be judging our website.

Rosie (10:25)
Whoops!

Yeah, don't tell us how much you don't like the website. Tell us what you're proud of. I really want to hear it. Let's celebrate your wins because... Why not celebrate them?

Roula (10:38)
self-belief and humility. Let's do this.

Rosie (10:42)
Hmm,

let's do this. Bye.