55: Keep Your Head Up - What Your Posture Says About You

Rosie (00:00)
Who's asking who? Yeah, you got one. Okay.

Roula (00:00)
Yeah. Yes.

What do you say or think when you see someone walking and their head looking to their shoes?

Rosie (00:27)
think, well, there's a few things. I think they could be really lost in thought. I think they could be feeling self-conscious. They might be having a really hard time feeling overwhelmed.

That's where my mind goes. They're looking down at their feet in public.

Where the hell did this question come from? This was random.

Roula (00:50)
This shows the contradiction sometimes between us. So I saw a lady yesterday, she's walking in the parking lot from her car to the shop. She's walking kind of fast pace and she's just looking to the ground. She's walking, looking to the ground. And I was walking and thinking, I have to tell her to walk with her head up high. Why the fuck is she walking and looking to the ground?

Rosie (00:53)
Tell me, okay?

Judgemental bitch.

Roula (01:19)
Where's her self-confidence? Where's her presence? Why is she walking like this? Someone needs

to tell her when you walk, you lift your head up high. And this this I was surprised by this like the train of my thoughts. While I'm looking at her, because I had really this, I felt I need to go to her and tell her, please walk with your head up high, no matter what's happening in your life, you can do this.

Rosie (01:33)
Mmmmm!

no matter what's happening in your life. So why is it so important to you?

Roula (01:48)
But I didn't do it.

Yeah. So when I mean, everything you said makes sense to me. Maybe they're thinking they're going through rough time, et cetera. They just don't want the people around them to see them, to talk to them, whatever. And that that's OK.

Rosie (02:01)
Right, right.

Roula (02:12)
And I felt that even if this is happening, we have to just, like our body language will save us from our emotions, from our feelings. But also, like I would feel more comfortable talking to her if she's walking with her head up high.

Rosie (02:33)
So it's about

you.

You just said you would feel more comfortable. Yeah. And I kind of, you look at me, it's fucking ridiculous. But also I kind of get what you're saying. You know, we should have the self confidence and be proud and have presence. But you're saying no matter what is going on, hold your head up. I think that's very unhealthy. Are you saying push the feelings aside?

Roula (02:37)
Probably, yeah.

Like I would like her more if her head was up high.

It's not a

toxic positivity. I'm not trying to make it as a toxic positivity. It's just I

Rosie (03:09)
But it's a toxic coping

mechanism, don't you think?

Roula (03:14)
walking with your head down in the floor is not a coping mechanism is is hiding yeah holding it i'm getting emotional did you did you feel me being says like

Rosie (03:18)
No, holding it up is a coping.

I can feel it. You're very passionate

about this, but you're not quite clear on why, and it's really interesting.

Roula (03:31)
Yeah,

no, I don't want to be misunderstood. That's why probably I'm not expressing myself clearly. I feel when we walk and our heads up high, it projects a certain confidence or a certain positivity that will encourage others to talk to us. We will be like moving out from our mood into the world.

Rosie (03:35)
Mm.

This is true

because when we start, I do feel more confident and powerful when I stand up straight. I'm someone who slouches a lot, right? It's just natural. And I find it very difficult to have a good posture. And it's not necessarily me walking with my head down, but it's related. And yeah, when you make a conscious effort to stand tall, I don't know, you're kind of forced to just...

Be tall. I don't know what I'm saying. Yeah, to be present. You just have to embrace it because it takes effort to stand up straight and hold your head high.

Roula (04:27)
to be present.

In another way, it sounds also like not everyone wants to be present, but to go back to my example and this woman that I saw, sometimes it has nothing to do with their mood. It's a habit.

Rosie (04:45)
Mm-mm.

True, true.

Roula (04:55)
Most of the time it's a habit because yes, I also have sometimes a mood and I don't want to talk so so it's normal and this is allowed The more I'm talking also about when and I don't know this lady I don't know what's going on in her life and I don't know the reason why she's walking like this Do you have to pay attention that this doesn't become if we are someone walking with our head looking down with no reason just because this is our posture

Rosie (05:10)
Mm-hmm.

Roula (05:25)
I think we need to make shift. Walk with your head up. Because you exist. You're there. You're walking. What there is to see in your shoes and in the ground. Be aware of the world around you. I find this so important to be aware of what's going on around us. I'm now bringing you into another topic on the same topic.

Rosie (05:31)
or what?

Live.

Hmm.

This is,

I feel this is quite philosophical. I don't think it was meant to be, but this is, it is philosophical and it's very much to do with your beliefs around life and what it means to be alive and.

Roula (05:56)
No.

Rosie (06:08)
I get it, but I don't know if I fully agree. Maybe what it is, is people need to start questioning. If you are someone who walks around looking at the ground, why is that? Are you open to trying something different? How would that make you feel? But also Roula, if you're someone who every single fucking day, even if you feel like shit, are walking around with your head held high, maybe it's time to stop and question that. Do you need to? Is it?

What happens if you don't hold your head high?

Roula (06:41)
Holding your head down, what is it solving?

Rosie (06:44)
What is holding it up solving?

Roula (06:47)
see in the sky the people noticing what's around you it might be triggering but you but you have to exist like even if i'm having the shittiest day ever i put on my lipstick because that is a sign for me that i'm okay i'm gonna be okay whatever's going on but it's also a sign for others when they look at me that yeah

Rosie (06:51)
The beauty of the world.

Mm.

Mmmmm

Roula (07:15)
There is a room for talk, for conversation. She's inviting. And I'm not saying that everyone should wear a lipstick. It could be a smile on your face. It could be a nod with your head. It could be a body language. It just, I don't know why it did something to me, seeing this woman walk in all the way. She did not look up for one second.

Rosie (07:36)
It's like

she was closing herself off from the world.

Roula (07:42)
Yeah.

Rosie (07:44)
Hmm. Do you think you're upbringing? I don't know. No, I don't know. No. Because you've discovered something you really care about that you didn't know before. But I'm curious, do you think you're upbringing or where you live, where, you know, you lived in Lebanon, there was war going on and I'm fucking projecting and jumping to assumptions here, but I want to hear your thoughts. Surely.

Roula (07:46)
Am I being too harsh?

Rosie (08:14)
The nature of how fragile life is when you are in a war zone is probably much more front of mind than it is for someone living, for example, in Australia. You're smiling.

Roula (08:27)
I'm so

worried my answer will disappoint you immensely. And thanks for asking, because I didn't know that this is the truth. It's because I'm small.

Rosie (08:31)
But you know what, it's not about pleasing me.

Yeah, no, I wanna hear it.

You're small.

Roula (08:42)
So walking and lifting my head up high makes me bigger, taller.

makes me feel more present among all these tall people.

Rosie (08:52)
Wow.

Cause do you get overlooked? Have you been overlooked in the past when you haven't sort of held your head high?

Roula (09:03)
Yeah, a couple of times. But I mean, it's it's not like how can I say it was my coping mechanism with being small. And it became a habit. And probably if you weren't me. Like, I don't think of it when I'm walking with my head up high, that's me. I walk with my head up high because I've done it all my life.

Rosie (09:17)
Wow.

Yeah, yeah,

Roula (09:30)
But probably this is why I noticed that lady walking with her head down.

Rosie (09:36)
Mmm.

Roula (09:37)
So yeah, it's no, it's not upbringing. It's my length.

Rosie (09:42)
That's fascinating. This is profound. You just had a very real realization, poorly worded, but yeah, you just had a moment live on the podcast. You had a moment.

Roula (09:52)
Aha, moment.

What is?

Crazy. I came here with a question. We're digging into why I have this question.

Rosie (10:01)
That is crazy. It's all about your height. It's not about living life. It's about your insecurities

as a short person.

Roula (10:12)
Back then. Back then.

Rosie (10:13)
back then and it's become habit

and now it's not so much an insecurity but that coping mechanism is a habit. You're grateful for your height. Okay.

Roula (10:18)
Now it's a gr- I'm grateful.

I'm grateful that's for my attitude.

Rosie (10:29)
Mm, okay.

Roula (10:31)
Yeah, I don't think of it as an insecurity anymore. It started there.

Rosie (10:35)
But that's where it

Roula (10:41)
And now that you're asking the question, it brought up the right answer.

Rosie (10:41)
What a conversation. This is so good.

This is so good. I love it. I love it so much. Who else has had a revelation listening to this episode? I've just learnt so much about Roula

Roula (10:57)
Gosh, I learned so much about me.

Rosie (10:59)
Yeah!

Who needs therapy when you've got the Rosie and Roula show? Seriously?

Roula (11:05)
Thank you, Rosie, for digging so deep without hurting my feelings. Yes, even using the word insecurity didn't hurt my feelings because I'm not insecure anymore.

Rosie (11:09)
Thank you for allowing me to do that.

There you go.

Roula (11:19)
this was the conversation that I think we're going to have many of these kind of ad hoc reflections and probably a philosophic ending with a twist of reality is not bad.

Rosie (11:25)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I don't want to script these episodes. That's not what we're into. This is just real.

So let us know, do you hold your head high? Do you sometimes look down at your feet? Do you think there's anything wrong with that? Are you willing to try doing it the other way around and see how you feel?

Roula (11:53)
Let us know. Bye bye.

Rosie (11:54)
Bye!