57: Why "Let's Catch Up for a Wine" Turns Us Off

Rosie (00:01)
Thank

Roula (00:05)
have a funny one

Rosie (00:06)
Okay, let's do it. I like funny

ones.

Roula (00:21)
sometimes someone says, let's meet for a drink. But we never meet.

Because the drink is wine and I don't want to meet for drinks. How do you feel about that?

Rosie (00:35)
Hmm.

The version of that question I get or the statement is, let's meet for coffee. I don't fucking drink coffee. I hate coffee. I'd like, but I used to say, I don't drink coffee. How about we go out and have whatever. But now I just go, yeah, cool. And we'll meet at a cafe and I just won't get coffee. It's as if it's lost its meaning. People don't really care if you're having a coffee or not. It's just you're meeting for a drink.

But it's weird. Why don't we say, we should catch up? Let's meet at such and such. Yeah. I don't want to have an alcoholic drink. I rarely drink.

Roula (01:13)
It turns me off when people say let's meet for a drink

So it's not only me who gets turned off when someone says let's meet for a drink.

Rosie (01:23)
No. No.

So what turns you on then?

Roula (01:29)
Yeah, what turns me on is like, let's meet and do something together. Let's do something together. Let's go somewhere. Yeah. I think personally, I do not contact the ones who tell me let's meet for a drink.

Rosie (01:35)
Yeah, let's go for a walk.

Because

do you think they're being sincere?

Roula (01:48)
They really want to drink wine. And if there is no alcohol involved, we won't be meeting.

Rosie (01:55)
But do you think they actually want to see you when they say that? Or do they just say it because that's such a common thing to say and they're being polite?

Roula (02:05)
That's true, that's true. They might not be my close friends. They're surely not my close friends because we don't talk like this to each other. They might be acquaintances that probably they find that it's nice to talk to me, but for them to be worthwhile talking to me, a glass of wine should be involved. Because no glass of wine, it's gonna be kind of boring. And it might be true.

Rosie (02:10)
Mm.

Mmm, that's offensive.

Wow.

Mm. That's a hard truth. I've been to a few networking events in the past. I try to avoid them. They're awful. But a lot of people, you meet them and they sound interesting or whatever, and they go, oh, we should meet up for coffee one day. And the typical thing to say is, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 99 % of the time you never do. So I'm really tempted. Next time this happens, I'll pull out my phone and go, oh yeah, when do you want to do it?

And I think their draw will drop and they'll be thinking, shit, I didn't actually mean that. I don't actually want to go out for coffee with you.

Roula (03:11)
That's a good one.

OK, if someone says to me, let's meet for a coffee. Yes, I get out my calendar and say, OK, let's see when we can meet. That's fine. If someone would say to me, let's meet for a drink, I don't get out my calendar. Because somehow the word and when I say drink or let's meet, no, no, they would say more specific. Let's go and have let's meet for a glass of wine.

Rosie (03:21)
Okay, yeah.

Mmm.

Roula (03:37)
When people

tell me let's meet for a glass of wine, it turns me off completely. Completely. I really don't know why. If you tell me let's meet for cocktails, I'm on. Because it's fun. Cocktails. It's exciting. Like what are we going to take? There are different ingredients. It's so exciting. This sounds like a person want to be with me. But when you tell me let's meet for, let's go and have a glass of wine somewhere.

Rosie (03:49)
it is fun, yeah. Yeah.

Mm.

Crying.

Roula (04:06)
I find wine so boring that there's nothing exciting about meeting you. So it's again about me, not about them.

Rosie (04:08)
Yeah... Mmm... Mmm...

it should be about you really, it's about you enjoying it.

Roula (04:16)
You know, I'm the one who's

thinking of them. If you want to meet for a wine, you're not interested for me. And goodness, I don't know how many people know me and now will think Roula is crazy about wine. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't like the wine culture. But this is not our conversation for today. No, no, I don't drink wine at all. I do like to drink champagne.

Rosie (04:26)
God. Are you? Do you like wine?

but you like drinking wine. okay, okay. Okay, all right. So maybe it's about these

people just don't know you. Because if they're saying, do want to meet for wine? It's like, I don't want to do that.

Roula (04:45)
maybe

that's so true these people don't know me and they're just being probably kind and they just want to meet for a drink and yeah i can go and not drink wine

Rosie (04:55)
Yeah.

Maybe you should give them a chance. Yeah,

exactly. Get off your fucking high horse.

Roula (05:03)
But because they only like to drink wine, they're not going to be my friends.

Rosie (05:08)
But how do you know they only like to drink wine? You've just made a huge assumption.

Roula (05:12)
No, no, no. I mean, there is some kind of conversation with these people. It's not like they don't know me at all or I don't know them at all. Yeah, there are more and more people and maybe I'm being very judgmental on this episode, more and more people that are so much into wine and like going out cannot be right without a glass of wine or a bottle of wine. And I've been

Rosie (05:20)
They don't know how to turn you on, that's the problem.

Mmm.

Roula (05:41)
at a dinner a few weeks ago.

Okay, so all my questions, I think, come... My questions don't come like that. It's something that happened. And now I'm going to tell you what happened. So we went for dinner. And because I'm driving and I knew I'm going to be there for a few hours, everyone started with a glass of wine. I took just my little bit of whiskey because that's going to be my shot of whiskey for... And that's it. I'm not drinking anything else. But then...

Rosie (05:54)
Okay.

Okay, okay.

Roula (06:13)
while I'm not drinking anything anymore, I'm only drinking water. I'm looking at these eight people at the table and they're like drinking wine like they're drinking water. So the waiter keep passing by and every time they want to refill, refill, refill. And I was like, OK, there is something going on here. If I'm going all the time outside for a cigarette because I used to smoke, that would be weird.

Rosie (06:24)
Wow.

Wow.

Mm-hmm.

Roula (06:42)
but sitting at the table, continuously refilling the wine, and when you're not drinking, you notice these things.

Rosie (06:48)
Right, right.

Roula (06:50)
I was like, wow, I find this so boring. Just sitting there and drinking wine. We finished dinner. We could do so many things, but everybody either having conversation, of course, but even the conversation was going weird because everyone is so focused on drinking the wine. And then I decided to leave because, yeah, this is not for me. And this brought to my mind with someone.

Rosie (06:56)
Mmm.

I'm

Yeah.

Mm.

Roula (07:19)
want to meet and say let's go for a wine I say immediately no

Rosie (07:24)
Yeah, that's not my thing either. I'd probably say no. Although I'm not very good at saying no to those situations. Yeah. I'd just be polite. yeah, you know, that'd be nice. Maybe. I've never been asked to catch up with wine.

Roula (07:32)
What would you say?

Okay, I mean coffee feels more friendly. Coffee is friendly. Cocktails is fun. Wine is boring. Okay, so.

Rosie (07:45)
Coffee happens all the time.

cocktails is fun. I agree. And I'm someone who doesn't

drink much, but even for me, cocktails sounds fun.

Roula (07:57)
But yeah, you can have a mocktail. It still have different ingredients and fun.

Rosie (08:01)
Well, this is true. Yeah,

it is fun. Yeah.

I'll be sure

not to ask you Roula to catch up over a glass of wine when we meet in person. And I'll be sure if I bring you flowers to fucking bring a vase to.

Roula (08:12)
Rosie,

if meeting with you in person means doing hard drugs, I'm gonna be there.

Nothing will stop me from meeting you in person. Nothing. I might come with a crate of wine and even though we don't drink wine, we're just gonna finish them. As long as we meet.

Rosie (08:27)
I feel very special. Heck yes.

Yes!

I love that. Let's put a smile on my face. Let us know though, everybody. What do you think when someone says to you, let's catch up for a glass of wine or let's catch up for a coffee? Is Roula being a judgmental asshole or has she got a point? I think she's got a point.

Roula (08:41)
Hahaha

Please let me know. Yeah, I'm being very vulnerable in my story here. Yeah.

Rosie (09:00)
You are, you are, but

you know what? You're a wonderful person. So even if you judge people about wine, that's okay. We all, we all still love you.

Roula (09:11)
Okay, we're wrapping this up and I am a wonderful person when you only meet with me an hour a week. Bye!

Rosie (09:14)
Wow, you just shut me down. You just shut me down.

Bye.