68: Why Going To The Movies Is A Terrible First Date

Rosie (00:00)
Okay, I got one. Let me get the honeycomb out of my teeth. It's totally stuck in there. I should not have eaten that.

Roula (00:13)
You're taking note of what episode we're recording, the name? Okay, great.

Rosie (00:17)
all over it.

Roula Would have been a while since you've had a first date. However, I'm sure you can remember. So often, whoops, I mean, it's been a while since I've had a first date too. Anyway, often, don't know this is still the case. It's hey, let's go out for a movie.

Go watch a movie, meet at the cinema. Maybe this is a teenage thing, but that's often a first date thing. What are your thoughts on that?

Roula (01:06)
The movie or the first date?

Rosie (01:09)
a movie on a first date. Is that a good first date?

Roula (01:14)
definitely.

Rosie (01:15)
What?

Roula (01:18)
Yeah.

It could be the starting of something, of a conversation that is not very much about yourself or about the other person.

Rosie (01:30)
But don't you want to get to know the other person on a first date?

Roula (01:34)
Well, after the movie, it feels... When someone on the first date, of course, I haven't been for a long time on a first date, but I still know how it feels, and I don't mind being asked from my husband, like, we're on a first date. First, the show of interest, that's already there. Would you like to go and watch a movie? Because I think it's already so difficult to go on a first date.

Rosie (01:43)
Yeah.

Right, right. Which feels nice. Yeah.

Roula (02:04)
I think it's better than meeting at a bar at the beginning of the date.

Rosie (02:05)
Hmm.

Okay. Why? This is fascinating. I was not expecting you to say this. Tell me, tell me, tell me.

Roula (02:12)
especially so

what is your take on let's go for a movie i have this effect on you why is it shit

Rosie (02:20)
I'm conflicted now. You're kind of changing my opinion. I was gonna say I think it's kind of shit. Yeah, you bugger.

You go there and you can't talk. You're just sitting next to someone staring at a screen and then you go home. Great.

Roula (02:38)
so you're going home after the movies.

Rosie (02:41)
Well, if you go out at night, isn't it usually a nighttime thing and then it's late? Maybe I'm a grandma, but like...

Roula (02:46)
So but that's it? Two hours movie and then that's it? Is this the date?

Rosie (02:49)
What do you do afterwards?

I don't know.

Roula (02:54)
Afterwards is I think the time to go for a drink talk about the movie and start opening compositions or go for a walk It doesn't have to be a drink a walk would be nice

Rosie (02:57)
Okay, so what if, what if it was just a movie? A walk would be great. I like the sound of this first

date. So you're saying a movie followed by something else. What if the first date is just a movie, just a movie, because this happens.

Roula (03:08)
Yes! Yes.

Okay,

okay. It happens. Then let's see the energy. If that person sitting next to me giving me energy like, I want to touch this person. I really like this person. I want to hear their voice. I want to, yeah, I want to know more about them. Of course, of course, because on the first date, if there is no sexual tension, in my opinion, this will...

Rosie (03:23)
a of sexual tension.

Roula (03:35)
might come but I mean be really patient if you want to be patient and I'm not saying you have to have sex on the first date but there must be this chemistry this feeling yeah there must be some kind of attraction and of course people say that you get to know you know we have our episode about love at first sight

Rosie (03:42)
Mm.

some kind of attraction.

Yes.

Roula (03:58)
This brings me a little bit back to it, because the first date is the excitement, is the wanting to be touched or the wanting, is he going to kiss me or is she going to kiss me? This thing, it's not a relationship yet. It might not become a relationship. So this first date does not determine the future. It must be enjoyable and must have this something in it. And the movie, look.

Rosie (04:00)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-mm-mm.

Okay, yeah.

Roula (04:26)
Movie can open also lot of conversations. If it's a controversial movie or if it's whatever it is, it will have topics to talk about and get to know how the other person thinks.

Rosie (04:40)
Okay, but does that happen during the movie or after?

Roula (04:43)
No, if someone is speaking during the movie I will go and kick their ass.

Rosie (04:46)
Exactly!

So remember my question was, what if the date is just a movie and then you go home? Is this good or bad?

Roula (04:54)
It's fine, yeah, yeah, why not? If you want to see if that person would be interesting for you or not. It's a safe place and it's a quick date

Rosie (04:56)
It's fine.

But how, how do you get... It's

a quick date, I suppose. I fi- How do you get a sense of a person though, sitting there and not engaging with them? I, I think it's a shitty first date.

Roula (05:12)
have engaged with

them before the date, right? Whether they were colleague or...

Rosie (05:16)
I guess, but maybe,

I don't know, maybe you haven't. Maybe it's like an online dating app.

Roula (05:21)
Rosie we don't have to agree on this one, remember?

Rosie (05:25)
I know, that's why I'm asking questions.

Roula (05:28)
Yeah, yeah, we don't have to agree and I'm not saying that what you're saying is not right. You're getting under my skin with this.

Rosie (05:35)
Am I being dispensive? Yeah. Am I annoying

you? Calm down.

cause to me, okay, no, no, let's, I'm not going to talk about me.

Roula (05:43)
So

tell me what would your first date, how do you want it to look like?

Rosie (05:47)
Fuck, that's what I was gonna ask you,

for fuck's sake. I wanna go out and do something. Let's go for a hike, let's go for a walk, let's...

I let's do something. A movie isn't doing something, it's very passive. Yeah!

Roula (06:02)
So you're asking someone on a date.

Tell me, ask me on a date.

Ha ha!

Rosie (06:11)
I'm immediately uncomfortable.

Roula (06:15)
Okay then ask your imaginary dream girl on a date.

Rosie (06:16)
So, okay, no, no, no, no, no. So Roula no, no, no, no, no, no.

This is, I'm gonna blush. You ready for this? People need to go onto YouTube because I can feel it. So Roula, we've known each other for a while now and I really like you and I was wondering, do you wanna go on a hike together sometime? Like a date, not just friends. That sounded so ridiculous. Anyway.

Roula (06:25)
Are you ready for this?

Yeah, that's very like you're like, you're like, wow, okay, she likes me and I don't like her this way. But I have to say yes, because she's so nice and kind.

Rosie (06:45)
I got a rejection. Am I too like full on?

You're like, Rosie, you're now married.

You have to say yes. Since when do you think you have to say yes?

Roula (07:04)
no, I don't. I'm now like speaking out loud the thoughts that might come if this, I mean.

Rosie (07:05)
cool.

Yeah. So

how would, okay, you asked me on a first date. Prepare for me to blush again.

Roula (07:16)
Okay, I wouldn't tell you, hey, I like you, but I don't say that. would just ask you, Rosie, do you want to go on a hike on a Saturday?

Rosie (07:19)
You just say let's go on a hike.

But how do

you know if that's a date? That is so ambiguous.

Roula (07:27)
You will know

afterwards. You don't have to know before.

Rosie (07:30)
And

you think that's the way you do it. So you don't think you should be upfront with your intentions. It's just, hey, let's hang out.

Roula (07:33)
my goodness.

Okay,

but then I would I would say like this can I take you out on a date?

Rosie (07:44)
You'd say that after or when you're asking them. Okay. I prefer that. I'm sorry. Really like I really don't feel the same way. See, would prefer it makes it more uncomfortable, but I would prefer the other person be upfront. What if it's just as friends and all of a sudden I've got this idea in my head. You lost the time.

Roula (07:46)
No, no, no, when I'm asking you, hey, Rosie, can I take you out on a date?

I would give you like very seductive eyes and...

Shit! So now you lost the date and I lost the date.

Rosie (08:12)
We suck. Or maybe we're just not compatible, Rola.

Roula (08:16)
So many people are struggling with going out on a date because of this. How to ask what's the right way and would the other person like me asking?

Rosie (08:22)
⁓ right. I get in my

head. I don't think I've ever asked somebody on a date.

Roula (08:29)
Never.

Rosie (08:30)
I don't think so.

Roula (08:32)
You've been asked, but you didn't ask. So how did you meet your ex-girlfriend, the latest ex-girlfriend?

Rosie (08:42)
on Tinder.

Roula (08:42)
Tell me more.

Rosie (08:43)
NNNN

you're on tinder and we're talking right and if you're on tinder you can

Roula (08:47)
So you were chatting on Tinder and how, tell me about the moment you decided

to, we're talking over each other. Let me finish my question. Because we don't have a lot of time for the entire story. Begin, begin.

Rosie (08:53)
Fuck's sake, you go. Hurry up.

Roula (09:05)
how it looked like the physical meeting, asking for the physical meeting.

Rosie (09:13)
I didn't ask for the physical. think the other, I think, I don't know. I don't remember. But again, it was via text. So it's different. We probably just said, hey, when do you want to meet up? But it was on Tinder. So it's kind of clear. It's not a platonic thing. And do you know what I said? I said, let's go for a hike at this place. And they were like, yeah, I'd love that. I did. I was thinking about what are we going to do?

Roula (09:37)
You had the plan! You had the plan! That's amazing!

Rosie (09:42)
hike and then she cancelled on the day said she got out of bed the wrong way and I'm thinking what the fuck like right that's the end of that anyway it wasn't but years down the line

Roula (09:54)
How

it wasn't? Then you went on a hike as a first date eventually?

Rosie (09:59)
No, she'd injured her back and we ended up going for a swim because that's something I wanted to do again, that she said she wanted to do, but I later found out she hates going swimming and she hates going hiking. So that, and I was really hurt. I was like, well, why didn't you tell me?

time. So do you think that's okay? I think that's shit! I'm like you... you... no?

Roula (10:22)
liked it too much to disappoint you.

No!

I don't think that's okay, but I don't know what's the way to come out of it.

Rosie (10:34)
Surely you should both enjoy whatever it is.

Roula (10:40)
Yeah.

Rosie (10:41)
This is turning into like a weird, what was the initial question? First date movie. I say shitty first date. Roula says great first date if you follow it up with something else, because it's a good conversation startup.

Roula (10:59)
Yeah, being stuck in a movie not talking is better than being stuck at a bar when you have nothing to talk.

Rosie (11:06)
That's awkward, isn't it? So maybe the movie is a bit of an icebreaker.

Roula (11:10)
Icebreaker. I like this. The date icebreaker guys and listeners and girls. Let's see.

Rosie (11:18)
There's gotta be something

better. Maybe a movie at home would be a bit more intimate, like at the movies, I don't know.

Roula (11:27)
Yeah. Hey, dear listeners, let us know what was your best first date ever? Wow, that's really very challenging. The one you still remember at least.

Rosie (11:33)
Yes, okay, best first date. Have you ever had a good first date even?

Yeah!

Roula (11:43)
Thank you for listening. Bye!

Rosie (11:44)
We did not agree this episode.

Thank