82: Do You Have A Resting Bitch Face?

Roula (00:00)
you and hearing what you say, et cetera. have a question for you. And I don't know what you're going to do to me. Do you think you are an approachable person?

Rosie (00:03)
What ho? What ho? Yeah.

HAHA

No?

I think I have a resting bitch face. I really do.

Roula (00:34)
a resting bitch face. Give me this face. I mean, if you're watching us on YouTube, you can see it. This is big time. Can I try? Let me try my resting bitch face.

Rosie (00:42)
Would you agree that's a resting bitch fa- Right! Right!

Okay.

The glasses are off. You're smiling! ⁓ Yeah, that's scary.

Roula (00:59)
okay is this a breasting bitch face or not

Rosie (01:00)
Wow. Yeah.

Yeah, I think it was. Is that something you usually do? That didn't look like you. Really? Yeah, I think when I walk down the street, that's what I look like. So I probably don't look approachable at all. But I like to think I'm a pretty friendly person. Yeah, shit, actually. My God. Well, I'm like...

Roula (01:08)
Yeah, I do. I do have a resting itch face, yes.

why you like to think it, so what makes you think you'd think that?

Rosie (01:30)
⁓

Hmm. I don't, I'm having trouble finding the words. Am I a nice person? my God. Maybe I'm an asshole. No, no, no, no. For example, I was at the shops today. I needed to return some things, which was very exciting. Got $110 refund. Just love it. I feel rich Right. It's like I've got extra money.

Roula (01:57)
cause it's like you're saving your money you buy something to not spend your money and then you return it

when you need to

Rosie (02:05)
What do they call that? Girl Maths? Yeah, well, anyway, that was the example. And, you know, it was pretty friendly.

Roula (02:12)
Please do not

take financial advice from Rosie.

Rosie (02:15)
⁓ I actually am very good at finances, but I am susceptible to these mind tricks that, yes, that happen. Aren't we all? But let me tell my story please. We're not talking about money. So I was at the checkout and the guy looked a little bit unsure of what to do. And I was just patient and he said, do you have the receipt? And I went, yes, it's on my loyalty card. It saves on there. And so we scanned it and he was a little bit slow, but I was just, you know.

happily waiting. He scanned it and I was like, thank you so much. Like he didn't cause an issue. He wasn't like, why are you returning it? da da da. Blah, blah, blah. Some people are very judgy.

Anyway, at the end I was like, thank you. Have a really nice day. And he sort of perked up a little bit.

But now I'm saying this, I'm like, isn't that just being a decent person? I don't know. Am I a friendly person, Roula?

Roula (03:10)
You are friendly, you know why? How many times you struggle of coming out of a bad conversation? Remember these episodes we talked about? And a person that is not approachable would not have others having such long conversations where you feel like, gosh, I need to get out of here.

Rosie (03:18)
True.

But is that just a sign of me not having a backbone or of me being friendly? Because when I think about it, that's just a sign of me not standing up for myself. I don't think you have to be rude to get out of a conversation you don't want to be in. Surely you could still do that in a friendly way.

Roula (03:49)
No, but that's approachable. When people want to tell you about things and not don't shut up, it's because they feel you're approachable. They can talk to you. If you weren't approachable. Yeah, are you approachable? When you're not approachable, they won't even start a conversation.

Rosie (03:51)
no!

was that the original question? It was, wasn't it? That was the, okay, yes. True, true.

But you know,

you know what the issue has been since moving into the van. There's more conversations that happen because I have Tilly. It's not me who's attracting these people. It's my adorable little dog. So I don't think it's me that's approachable. It's just, have this cute dog that I'm in love with and they see me saying cute things to her.

Roula (04:25)
the thing? Wow then it's hard to know who truly you are. Man, oh man, that's a difficult one. is, who are you without Tilly? Like a serial killer.

Rosie (04:26)
Mmm.

Well I don't know. A

serial killer? Whaaaa-

Tilly when you and I first met?

Roula (04:47)
know that, I only remember you have Tilly all your life.

Rosie (04:49)
Yes, serial killer.

No, when we met I didn't have Tilly

Roula (04:54)
Yeah, okay, I didn't know that.

Rosie (04:55)
Ruler though, are you approachable? I'm sick of talking about myself. Are you an approachable person?

Roula (05:04)
I want to tell you the truth.

Rosie (05:06)
Yes.

Roula (05:09)
Mostly outside of the house and approach I am approachable and there are times in my own house where I'm not approachable

Rosie (05:13)
huh.

That's relatable for me.

Roula (05:21)
And

I don't know if the listeners relate to this. Why am I approachable outside of the house is because I'm curious about people. Not curious about their life, like I want to be nosy and ask them about their life. If I go to. If I'm at the cashier, I'll make them laugh because I would be making comments and.

cracking a joke or just saying things that are unusual and people like that. I know they like that. Yeah. Yes. I don't exaggerate in a way that I'm becoming weird. I bring it from what I look around a remark from what I have around me. So outside the house, I am approachable. It depends if I feel that I'm in a threatened place. No.

Rosie (05:58)
So trying to brighten people's day.

Are you sure about that?

Mmm.

Roula (06:19)
then I will put on my serious face. Because I'm small, then I try to walk taller and be more present in my mind.

Rosie (06:20)
Mm, mm.

Mm.

Roula (06:34)
Yeah, more serious. In the house, I can this morning I was unapproachable because I woke my son in early in the morning and I appreciate it if he makes his own breakfast, get his bag, school bag, fill in his bottle of water, etc. He was having too much fun with his dad. So it took them half an hour to come downstairs. And the bitch looks some look on my face was so clear.

Rosie (06:40)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Roula (07:04)
that my husband thought, I don't know where this day is going.

And I wasn't approachable. Really, I wasn't.

Rosie (07:12)
Do we need to be approachable?

Roula (07:16)
Not all the time.

Rosie (07:17)
Yeah, true. Mm, this is true.

Roula (07:21)
How can we get out of silly conversations if we're a black person like me who wants to have a long talk with the cashier? We have to to feel the clues, the silence around us, the vibe, the kind of people.

Rosie (07:25)
No

think it's often the people who seem like they're not approachable that need human interaction the most.

Does that make sense?

Roula (07:48)
Some people are looking not approachable and in reality they're super fun and kind and it's great to talk to them.

Rosie (07:54)
Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly.

Roula (07:57)
But we don't

know. Let me say, sometimes you don't want to be bothered because you're in a hurry and then you look not approachable.

Rosie (08:04)
Mm-hmm.

Roula (08:09)
There are many, many reasons why we look not approachable. In general,

Rosie (08:10)
Mmm.

When I'm deep in thought,

I don't look approachable.

Roula (08:17)
Meow.

Rosie (08:20)
It doesn't mean I don't want people to talk to me. I mean, it kind of depends. No, they wouldn't know, yeah.

Roula (08:22)
But they wouldn't know. Yeah.

There are the initial question, are you approachable? It's more into the person who you are. You're walking down the street. Do you look friendly, approachable, or you look like ⁓ Hell's Angels motorcycle driver who's ready for the kill?

Rosie (08:31)
yeah.

I'm approachable. When you just said walking down the street, I like to make eye contact and I'll smile at someone or, you know, give them a little head nod or whatever. And when someone deliberately doesn't make eye contact with me, I feel like I've just been rejected. I take it personally. Yeah, but why? Who cares?

Roula (08:59)
You check it personal!

They don't even know you. Why do you feel like they owe you? They're not approachable!

Rosie (09:07)
Exactly. What's a metaphor? Yeah, I know. don't know. It's a whole other thing, We

don't want to lock eyes with a weird stranger who's trying to smile and not their way. Creepy. I don't always do that, but...

Roula (09:20)
⁓ that's weird maybe they

think you're creepy why is she smiling at me and you're so tall you know you

Rosie (09:28)
Yeah! I am! Maybe I'm intimidating.

Mmm.

I don't feel like I'm any clearer on whether or not I'm approachable. We've just been talking for, I don't know, almost 10 minutes and I'm just more confused than when we started. So I don't know if I should thank you or not. You're clearer, really.

Roula (09:46)
No, I'm clearer!

I think, I don't know what approachable has to do with me. One thing I know about myself, I flirt with everyone.

Rosie (09:59)
Yes, that doesn't surprise me.

Roula (10:01)
That's the thing. When I was describing my interaction, I

flirt with everyone. But this doesn't mean that people feel like they're going to have a conversation with me.

Rosie (10:08)
This is true.

No, and that might make some people feel really uncomfortable. So listeners, go back to episode 61.

Roula (10:15)
always appropriate I

don't flirt inappropriately

Rosie (10:19)
How would you know? Go back to episode 61. It's all about flirting and you will get a snapshot into Roula's inner workings because flirting is very important to Roula Episode 61, go do it. Are you an approachable person? I don't know. But should we always be approachable? Hell no.

resting bitch face. Yes! And on that note, we'll see you in the next one.

Roula (10:43)
do what makes you feel safe and comfortable.

Bye.