15: Forgetfulness - Where the Heck is my Mind?!

[00:00:00] 

Roula: Rosie, I've been struggling so much lately. I have a large doses of forgetfulness. And don't get me wrong, not in important things. I mean, I put things in my calendar. I put a reminder and everything. So I'm looking after this part. But I forget things like where I put my glasses.

Roula: Where's my lipstick? Where's my bag? Where are my car keys? And this makes me spin around all day. But I live in a big house. My keys can be anywhere. My lips can be anywhere. But do you know what this is 

Rosie: called? Do you know what this is called? Oh shut up, I know what 

Roula: you're going to say. Old age! It's okay, it's okay.

Roula: That's not an insult. That's not an insult. No, I don't 

Rosie: think it is either. But I'm kind of like insulting myself as well. My memory is awful and it has just got worse and worse and worse. And I've decided, whatever. So to help myself now, I've got [00:01:00] reminders in my phone, I've got alarms, I've got everything in my calendar.

Rosie: If someone's talking to me, I'll pull out my phone and take notes and I have to tell them I'm not being rude, but I'm going to forget this if I don't write it down or type it on my phone. I feel your pain. But 

Roula: do you live in the van? Do you lose things in the van? 

Rosie: Oh, all the fucking time. All the time.

Rosie: What does this look like? Tell me. Oh, it's frantic. Okay. Okay. I have a hook where I put my van keys. But do you know how often I don't put them on this hook? All the time. I'm frantically looking around everywhere. And it's, it's just chaos. Or my sunnies. This is the second pair I've bought. I bought this pair, maybe sunglasses, sunnies, sunnies.

Rosie: Okay. Your sunnies. Sunnies, sunnies, yeah, but I don't know where they are laughing at me. I'm channeling my inner Jonathan off Queer Eye. Do you watch Queer Eye? No! I don't! Should I? You should. [00:02:00] It's highly entertaining. Yes, they break all the rules. They're great. Very fun. Watch Queer Eye on Netflix. But yeah, I lose things in the van all the time.

Rosie: Measuring tape is a common one because I'm always measuring things. Like I installed a shelf the other day and I just bought a fan that I need to install and measuring. I have specific spots, but do I always put them there? No. And it just drives me nuts, losing things constantly. So you lose your glasses, which means you can't see.

Roula: On each floor, I have reading glasses. Oh my God. And I lose them all on all the floors. I find them all together somewhere. And there's nothing more frustrating than trying to read something without my reading glasses. I feel nauseous. I feel like I'm having a headache. It's terrible. Are you one of these 

Rosie: people who holds it far away from your face, or do you, are you the one who holds it close when you're trying to read?

Roula: No, far, far, far. It's my age. 

Rosie: [00:03:00] It's far. 

Roula: Uh, do you know, my family is like, because I, I, I think out loud when I'm losing something. Yeah. So I'm talking out loud. Oh, I lost my glasses and I don't know where they are. And then they're fed up with me at home. They're like, you know what? Just really stop talking because you continuously lose your glasses.

Roula: You forget where you put them 

Rosie: all the time. Maybe it's become a habit ruler. You've turned losing your glasses into a habit. I haven't thought of that. And so it's just going to keep happening. How do you break the habit? I don't know. Oh, you know what you need? Yes, the, the thing that hangs around your neck.

Rosie: Oh, or have you seen the ones that are so dorky? They're magnetic glasses. They join in the middle. They're magnetic and you can, you can pull them apart and then they dangle either side of your neck. It's hilarious. You need a pair of those. I'm you a 

Roula: story about forgetfulness that was hilarious. My son was just like so sarcastic.

Roula: [00:04:00] Um, so, uh, we were going to his, uh, judo practice and, uh, the day changed, the location changed at the same time. Uh, so at home we, we had to hurry. I, thanks goodness, did not forget that he has judo on that day or did I? I did. I think I forgot. And that's why we had to hurry. So we were hurrying, getting his bag ready, jumping in the car and I drove all the way to the old location.

Roula: Right there. The door is closed and I'm saying to my son, God, maybe they closed the door because my son was like, no, they never closed the door. There's nothing happening here. And I had to calm down for a second. And we were like, this is insane. Wait, no one showed up the day for, and then I was like, okay, I mean, I don't know what to do.

Roula: So we're driving back home. [00:05:00] And on the way, I remembered that I was at the wrong location, but it was too late to go to the correct one. So we drove back and I said to my son, Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, Leo. I completely forgot that it was at the other location. He was so upset because he loves his sugar dream.

Roula: Yeah. And then the next week, while we're going, he's sitting next to me in the car and he said, so mom, Today, you're not taking it to the wrong location, are you? Thanks goodness he mentioned it. Oh my 

Rosie: god, that's embarrassing. 

Roula: But then it happened that my son used this every time we have to go somewhere.

Roula: Yeah. And despite that he used it sarcastically, I'm so grateful. It's actually helpful, yeah. It's very 

Rosie: helpful. 

Roula: [00:06:00] Yeah, or how many times I go to the store to buy that one thing. I come back with a bag full of groceries and that one thing is not in there. 

Rosie: I didn't 

Roula: even think of it. 

Rosie: Yeah. Terrible. The struggle is real.

Rosie: So is this to do with old age? I want to know, like, have you always been a forgetful person or is that? No. No. No. It's really, it's really 

Roula: hard to deal with old age. Uh, before, no, I wouldn't. 

Rosie: So when did this start? You're 50, right? So when did this forgetfulness start? 

Roula: No, it's not only old age. I noticed that when I'm, I'm stressed or my anxiety is high, and okay, my anxiety gotten higher.

Roula: No, all my life. I forgot.

Rosie: You're a disaster. Yeah. And anyway, anyway, 

Roula: I mean, as long as I remember,[00:07:00] 

Roula: whenever my anxiety is high, I forget a lot. Yeah. I don't have a migraine. So if my migraine was like three, four days, And after my migraine is gone, I don't remember anything from what I was wearing to what I ate to, well, I'm trying to function normally because I mean, I'm cooking, taking care of the house, doing my work, et cetera.

Roula: And then, and I sit. In a quiet corner trying to remember so many silly stuff like what was I wearing or like what did we cook, what did I do that day, etc. Just practicing my memory. Uh, I know this is related really to the migraine, and no, I, I went to the doctor that did all possible tests. I don't have dementia.

Roula: Good, I am glad. As far as I remember. But the doctor asked me questions. Oh shit. And I couldn't remember them. [00:08:00] 

Rosie: So these migraines are like a three, four day trip, but a really bad trip. You just don't remember. It's agony. It's agony. Yeah. Really painful. 

Roula: So, so yes, forgetfulness is the story of my life these days.

Rosie: I shudder to think what I'm going to be like when I'm older. I am 33 and I am so forgetful and I used to be really self conscious about it and now I just embrace it. I'm like, I can't change it. I'm a forgetful person, but I acknowledge it and I'll take my notes. 

Roula: Okay, exactly. This is what I want to say.

Roula: It's that. You know, you train your brain, but also taking too many notes will not help you remember and, 

Rosie: and, 

Roula: you know, and in old time, my age, not yours, like the phone book was in our head. 

Rosie: Yeah, I used to know phone numbers off by heart. I know mine and that's about it. We don't 

Roula: practice anymore. Everything we don't remember, everything is there.

Roula: [00:09:00] So it's a brain. exercise I think we should do. And for you, you're 33. So, Rosie, I will not accept that you're settling and forgetting. Please tell me what's your plan. How are you going to avoid 

Rosie: this? Yeah, maybe it is like all the technology, right? When I was in school, it was kind of just coming in. Like I remember when internet came mainstream and using the computers.

Rosie: So, you used to rely more on just your head and remembering it in there. But now I can rely on my phone, on the internet, on whatever I want. And so I guess it's easy to be forgetful because I've got something to back it up. So maybe I just need to make life a little bit more difficult and then my memory will be better.

Roula: Yeah. Practicing exercise and really making a plan. I'm not telling you what to do. Sounds boring. I remember when I start forgetting. I was a teenager and my mom used to tell me to come home at 10 and I happened to always forget that [00:10:00] I had to be at home at 10. So I think that's How convenient. See, I remember all my life.

Roula: Fuck. All right, Rosie. Yeah. Yeah. I think that Um, the listeners will have their own forgetfulness moments and I would love to hear them share. Yeah. Tell 

Rosie: us a story. I don't even remember what this episode was about, to be honest. So, um, I'm gone. See ya. 

Roula: Yeah. That's what I have to suffer with you. Bye.