13: The Emoji Debate You Didn't Know You Needed

[00:00:00] Rosie: Rula, this has been on my mind for a very long time.

[00:00:05] This is a big question. It's very important. Yes. Take your Christmas trees off your head. This is serious. Fix your hair. Okay. I want to talk about the thumbs up emoji. Because Yes! Thumbs up emoji. We all know the thumbs up? Okay, okay. Yeah, thumbs up. Because I never used to have a problem with that. In real life, I use thumbs up.

[00:00:32] I'm talking to someone, I'm like, yeah, cool, and I'll give them a thumbs up. But I have found some people find it a bit passive aggressive, especially I'm talking online in text messages, that sort of thing. If you give a thumbs up emoji, people take offense. It's passive aggressive. And initially I thought, piss off.

[00:00:55] No, it's not. But now, Now, I'm interpreting it as passive aggressive, and I feel self conscious when I use it. But I know, Rua, that you use the thumbs up emoji. So were you being a passive aggressive bitch when you sent me the thumbs up emoji? 

[00:01:11] Roula: Never. Oh. I don't use it sarcastically.

[00:01:21] I use it, it's for me more as, that's really, it's good, fine. 

[00:01:29] Rosie: Yeah, it's funny. So now that I'm more self conscious about it, I'm like, Oh, I can't give it thumbs up. I'm going to offend them. So I'll do a love heart emoji, but not everything deserves a love heart emoji. Like seriously, I have, I have got in my head about this so much and what I love about you is.

[00:01:49] It's just like, you feel fine about a thumbs up emoji, what's the fucking problem? So now I'm going, well, yeah, what is the fucking problem? 

[00:01:57] Roula: It's so hard in text messages and WhatsApp, et cetera, to, to get the tone of what's going on. This 

[00:02:04] Rosie: is true. This is true. 

[00:02:05] Roula: You know, it's really the tone of the conversation, , with a thumbs up, but I don't know, no, I've never, I don't, I have not even thought about it, that it could be passive aggressive.

[00:02:18] thing that you know the person you're talking to. And if, if that's, no, no, no, you probably don't know even the person you're talking to. It could be a guest, it could be a casual conversation for something very quick. 

[00:02:33] Rosie: True. Yeah. 

[00:02:34] Roula: You don't know. , I just think that thumbs up is a, let's say, It's meant passive aggressively.

[00:02:42] It's still friendly. They didn't insult you. They didn't insult you. They're not 

[00:02:45] Rosie: giving you the middle finger. They didn't give you the 

[00:02:47] Roula: middle finger. Yeah, I think I'm over thinking. There's another emoji that I use now, instead of this thumbs up, and that's, how do you, like, when you 

[00:02:56] Rosie: Oh, the, the okay, perfect 

[00:02:58] Roula: sign.

[00:02:58] The okay, like you're

[00:03:03] I'm using this one because I really like it. I like it too. I feel 

[00:03:06] Rosie: it's 

[00:03:07] Roula: positive. Me 

[00:03:08] Rosie: too. I actually use it quite a bit. I love it. I get sick of the, the standard emojis they give you options for. I like to mix it up as well. 

[00:03:16] Roula: What other emojis? So now you replace the thumbs up with the heart. 

[00:03:20] Rosie: Yeah, but I think I need a better option.

[00:03:24] I think actually, you know what? I need to get over myself. I need to get out of my head. Start using the thumbs up emoji again, because in real life, I do it. I, I noticed it today. A person in the shop was helping me and I was like, yeah, awesome. And gave him the thumbs up, helping me find something. I'm like, yeah.

[00:03:40] You know, 

[00:03:41] Roula: I think you have the answer right now. You paired the thumbs up with a positive word. You said awesome. 

[00:03:50] Rosie: Yeah. Maybe that's 

[00:03:53] Roula: what it is. That makes it positive. 

[00:03:54] Rosie: Right, right. Yeah, we give these emoji reactions without context, whereas in real life, we're talking as well. Yeah. 

[00:04:05] Roula: Yeah. Like if you say, if you end your text, for example, with, Oh, eat shit with a heart.

[00:04:12] Yeah, it's affectionate. You're lovingly saying to someone, oh, fuck off. Yeah, 

[00:04:20] Rosie: yeah, yeah. And something I do, if someone's hitting me with a hard truth, I'll go, ah, fuck yeah. And then I'll probably do a laughing face, but it's, it's 

[00:04:28] Roula: affectionate. Yeah, it is. And you know, it's also depends on your communication style with that person.

[00:04:34] Like I have people that. Do not accept joking or serious to tell them, Oh, fuck off, or no, this is not a way that they hold on. I need to put it in the right words. They have told me what their boundary is and their boundary is not to speak to them this way. And I'm fine with it. Yeah. Which means, instead of saying fuck off, I learned how to exactly say what's annoying me in what they said, for example, and give a positive word when it's a positive situation.

[00:05:15] Yeah. But, if the person you're talking to will find it hilarious to tell them fuck off with the emoji, like crying from laughing, then it's fine. 

[00:05:25] Rosie: What's the problem? Yeah, it comes back to boundaries. You need to communicate with the other person if you, if you don't like the emoji. Or whatever the hell the languages they're using, tell them 

[00:05:37] Roula: it.

[00:05:37] They don't know. It's not easy. This is not easy. It's not like if someone sent you a thumbs up, would you answer them? Oh, what do you mean with that? 

[00:05:44] Rosie: Are you being, I'd probably ignore Are as if 

[00:05:45] Roula: aggressive, or are you being nice? Yeah. . It's not easy. So why don't we bear the emoji with one word that the express feeling, and even if it's not paired with expressing the feeling.

[00:05:57] Maybe we should stop taking things so personal and just 

[00:06:01] Rosie: relax. I feel called out on that. You're calling me out. I take everything personally. 

[00:06:05] Roula: Yes. No, don't, don't, you know, 

[00:06:11] Rosie: it's hard. It's hard, but you know what? Taking it personally shows I care. So in some ways I'm like, well, that's all right. I just learn how, I just need to learn how to keep it in check.

[00:06:20] Like if it's ruining my day, my mood for the day, that's a problem. And sometimes that happens. Hmm. 

[00:06:28] Roula: Hold on. Let's put our list. Take it. Things personal because we don't have time now to talk about it. Okay. We're just going to stick to the emoji. 

[00:06:38] Rosie: Yes. So moral of the story then, Rula, you say thumbs up isn't passive aggressive.

[00:06:45] I say I need to get over myself and start using whatever emoji I like. And we both say set the boundary. If you don't like an emoji or the way someone talks, let them know. 

[00:06:56] Roula: Yeah. And be kind. Just it. Be kind. Don't be a dickhead. Yeah. I mean, sometimes you have to be a dickhead, but just don't do it with emojis.

[00:07:06] It won't get you anywhere. 

[00:07:09] Rosie: Well, yeah, probably not. 

[00:07:12] Roula: Alright. Fuck off, Rosie. We have to wrap it up. 

[00:07:17] Rosie: Piss off. Bye. 

[00:07:20] Roula: Let us know what you think of the emoji. Bye.