16: Women, Sweat and Society's Double Standards

[00:00:00] Roula: Are you talking? Because I don't hear you.

[00:00:04] You do hear me, right?

[00:00:06] I tested everything.

[00:00:08] Rosie: Ah, is that working? Guess what it was?

[00:00:15] The on off button was switched to off.

[00:00:20] Roula: What have you been doing tonight to switch off your microphone? You 

[00:00:25] Welcome to the Rosie and show Marhaba. Good day. 

[00:00:36] Rosie: I got one. Sweat. Oh, okay. 

[00:00:43] Roula: I got sweat. 

[00:00:45] Rosie: Sweat, baby, sweat. 

[00:00:46] Some people would say that sweat is unladylike.

[00:00:52] Roula: Oh, are these people? 

[00:00:57] Maybe it's just in my head. I don't know. No, listen, I think I know what you mean because if you work at an office and then you're wearing a nice silk t shirt, uh, t shirt or whatever and then you go to a meeting and then you see like there's sweat under your arm because you were cycling very fast to get to the office you just dropped your kids at the daycare or your dog or i don't know then it feels like oh gosh i'm entering with sweat under my arm is so embarrassing i mean you live in sweat given the fact that you're in the i get so self conscious 

[00:01:32] Rosie: so self conscious like I seem to sweat more than other people.

[00:01:37] I don't know what it is. Or more than other women. Maybe they're just better at hiding. How do you know that? 

[00:01:43] Roula: You don't know if you sweat more than others. Well, 

[00:01:45] Rosie: they don't seem to, I don't see their sweat. You see, you visibly see my sweat. My face is shiny. And if I was wearing a t shirt right now, you would see it was, would be wet.

[00:01:55] It is that hot.

[00:01:56] Roula: But that's because you're in the van when you're outside of the van. 

[00:02:00] Rosie: Oh no, it's hot enough here to be. 

[00:02:04] Roula: I think this is turning into a medical advice. 

[00:02:06] Rosie: Oh, fuck. Hey, piss off. I should not be giving you medical advice. Okay, back, back to the thing. Is it okay for women to sweat? 

[00:02:14] Roula: I mean, you can't control something.

[00:02:16] It's our body. How can you control it? What is this question? 

[00:02:19] Rosie: So do you see, do you see someone, right? Say you're at the office. And a colleague walks in, it's a woman, and you can see sweat patches under her armpits. What are you, what's, what goes through your mind?

[00:02:31] Roula: What can I say? She might be 50 plus, and it's perimenopause, and she's going 30!

[00:02:39] Yeah, look, as long as sweat is not smelly, it's not dirty. 

[00:02:44] Rosie: Yeah. 

[00:02:45] Roula: Well, true. When sweat smells awful, is that someone has been either like doing engaging in a sports activity or did not shower, did not use soap. Some people shower without soap. And this is another topic. So yes, sweat doesn't smell it when you see it, it's different than smelling it.

[00:03:06] That is true. And I think it's, it's some kind of body shaming if someone enters the room with sweat. It's like, but what can they do? Like you turn red when I ask you a question that embarrass you. You don't, but I'm giving an example. You do turn red when you laugh. Oh, yeah. Can you stop turning red when you laugh, please?

[00:03:29] Rosie: Yeah. Good luck, right? Yeah. 

[00:03:32] Roula: Yeah. So the sweat is, is crazy. Um, uh, this is a funny, for me, it's funny question because yesterday I went to the shop with my daughter and, um, she's getting some organic, uh, cream. It's instead of deodorant or roll on. And she said that she uses a little bit twice a week. And then she doesn't need to use deodorant and it works perfectly.

[00:03:56] Wow. Oh, your brother, who's nine, Liam, I think in every episode I repeat the same. You're obsessed. I noticed his sweats and the smell. is, oh, Leon, please don't listen. I'm so sorry. 

[00:04:11] Rosie: Well, this is part of adolescence, right? And believe it or not, it starts really early. So true. 

[00:04:18] Roula: He's, he's starting early, but I decided not to use anything.

[00:04:22] I'll ask him to go and wash under his arms because I don't want to, uh, damage the development of his cells. wet by starting now using something for him. Um, 

[00:04:34] Rosie: that's a whole other thought there, whether it's damaging or not. I have tried these natural deodorants, aluminium free, like mum went on a big health kick, you know, when she was still alive.

[00:04:45] I think I was in my early twenties and she got this, you know, all natural deodorant ruler. I stunk useless. It was 

[00:04:55] Roula: just done as you can have Botox on there. And then you, you don't sweat anymore, let's say under your armpits. 

[00:05:05] Rosie: Yes. I don't know how I feel about that. I would like not having, you know, sweat patches sometimes, but also it's a natural function to help cool me down.

[00:05:15] So, 

[00:05:16] Roula: yeah. I know. I don't know. I didn't think about it when I said it was about the natural function, because I thought you're old now. You're older. Yeah. The natural functions are established. 

[00:05:27] Rosie: Yeah. 

[00:05:28] Roula: Now you have to manage them. 

[00:05:30] Rosie: Yeah. I'm just a sweaty Betty. I'm learning to be comfortable with it. When I was in high school, right?

[00:05:35] So in Australia, do you have school uniforms in the Netherlands? 

[00:05:40] Roula: No, 

[00:05:41] Rosie: but 

[00:05:41] Roula: in Lebanon, where I went to school, we had school uniforms. Okay. 

[00:05:44] Rosie: So you're familiar, right? With the concept over here. It's normal. You have school uniforms. And when I came back from England for year 12, had a school uniform and you have a very thin white blouse and a, and a skirt.

[00:05:58] So this white blouse is kind of semi see through, it's very thin. So you can imagine it's quite easy for sweat to come through such a thin top. I used to walk with a My hand sort of on my hip and draped over my bag because I'd have my bag on one shoulder to try and stop my arms resting down because sweat would show if I had my armpits resting on the shirt.

[00:06:23] I was so self conscious I'd sort of walk in a way that my armpits were up in the air. Don't touch the shirt. That is, that is fucked, like, It's ridiculous. But, you know, I was so self conscious of it, but it's like, oh, come on.

[00:06:38] Roula: Could be, could be. I mean, how many times, like, when it's summer, or when we're sweating, like, When my emotions get high, whether it's happy or sad, Oh, I get so sweaty, very like, and then I have, I go sweating on my arm because I just have to leave the car and go to the shop to make sure everything is not stinking.

[00:07:03] You know what else makes me sweaty? Some people have a problem with it, yeah. 

[00:07:07] Rosie: Are you 

[00:07:07] Roula: saying I have a problem? With sweating, yes. I have a medical problem. No, I'm not a medical advisor. What 

[00:07:15] do I know? 

[00:07:19] Rosie: Oh, fuck. I was going to say what makes me sweat, which is really weird, is when I go clothes shopping and I'm trying clothes on and off.

[00:07:25] I get really sweaty. And then by the end of it, I stink. And I'm like, get me out of here.

[00:07:30] Roula: What's, so what's the conclusion for you after telling me all this, this truth? 

[00:07:35] Rosie: I feel like an idiot. I feel like, why, why did I bring this up? But I also feel like, I'm sweaty and that's okay. If someone is going to judge me for my sweat and not talk to me, then I don't think I want that person in my life.

[00:07:52] Roula: No, no, you can't say this. It's not easy to come and tell you, Oh, sorry, I can't have a face to face conversation with you because your sweat stings. You can't expect people to tell you this. It's not easy. 

[00:08:06] Rosie: No, but you get a feeling. You get a feeling, right? People might be looking you up and down like, Ugh, she's really sweaty. I don't know. I've embraced it more. And since converting the van, I'm doing lots of physical work. It's like my sweat is a sign of my hard work and my achievements. 

[00:08:25] Roula: Well, that's true. That's true. You're really building your van with the sweat, tears, literally 

[00:08:32] Rosie: blood, sweat, tears, laughter, crying. Yes. 

[00:08:36] Roula: And, and don't be harsh on other people because no, they won't tell you you're sweating.

[00:08:41] You won't tell you're stinking. They will look. It doesn't mean they're judging. You have to go with an open mind in your conversation with people. Um, this is turning into a skill development, uh, positivity episode. 

[00:08:59] Rosie: I think what I'm getting from it, sweat is okay. But it's nice both for you and the other person if you, if you try to make sure you don't stink, you know, sometimes it happens, but you know, some deodorant or make sure you've showered that day, whatever, because it is hard.

[00:09:15] Body odor is, is pretty unpleasant, especially when it's, you know, it's 

[00:09:18] Roula: horrible now that we're talking about this. Like. Some people don't take out their wash on time from the washing machine. Oh 

[00:09:28] Rosie: no, Ruella, 

[00:09:29] Roula: no. So they stink and then they wear the shirt and they sweat on top of 

[00:09:34] Rosie: that. Yeah, that is quite gross.

[00:09:36] This 

[00:09:37] Roula: gives me sore throat and I run away from these people. You're so precious. This is the only time where I can't really have a face to face conversation with someone took his or her shirt long. 

[00:09:54] Rosie: I guess it's a physical reaction though, isn't it? It's not because you're being an asshole. It's like you're physically having trouble staying around.

[00:10:01] Yeah, I physically, yes, that's true. You're a bit precious. I 

[00:10:04] Roula: wish I could be an asshole and say Can you please like, wash this shirt and immediately hang it out to dry? It 

[00:10:13] Rosie: is hard though, cause I can't, I get it sometimes in this climate where I am now, it's very humid and sometimes it's really hard to dry your clothes properly.

[00:10:21] So I empathize. I have been in that situation before, but yeah, you can usually smell it. You put it on and you go, Oh, it's stinking. Thanks. I, 

[00:10:32] Roula: okay. That's very, very valid points still. There are, I don't know. Don't wear it. Wear something else that is not smelly. You're so judgmental. 

[00:10:40] Fuck. 

[00:10:41] See, so I'm the kind of person you don't want in front of you when you are sweating and thank you people for listening.

[00:10:47] I'm going to give 

[00:10:47] Rosie: you a big sweaty hug. Yeah. Send us your messages. Is sweating okay? I say yes. Just wear deodorant. 

[00:10:55] Roula: Yeah. I really want to know what people think of it. Truly. Thank you so much for listening today. I 

[00:11:01] Rosie: If you got a kick out of our conversation today, can you pretty please hit the follow button and share it with another opinionated person? This is the easiest way for you to support the show. It also gives Rula and I the motivation to keep going. I have to 

[00:11:18] Roula: stop you there. Stop telling people what to do.

[00:11:21] If they like to follow the show and share it, it's totally up to them. Guys, please, can you help us follow and share the show? Thank you so much. See you next time.