188: The Harsh Truth About Wedding Speeches (Most Are Terrible)

Roula (00:01)
I have a funny one. Yeah, yeah. So this summer from spring to summer, I've been to a few events, birthdays, weddings. And then, you know, people ask others to do a speech at their event.

Rosie (00:01)
It's your turn Rula. You've got a funny one. Let's do it. I've been talking too much this week.

Roula (00:25)
And first, I want to ask you, what do you think of that? What's your experience? Have you speech to someone?

Rosie (00:33)
Yeah.

sounds like you're weeing.

Roula (00:40)
no, I'm pouring coffee.

Rosie (00:52)
I think there can be, I mean, it's a bit of pressure asking someone to give a speech.

Don't you think? Puts pressure on the other person who you've asked to write a speech. But it also makes you feel quite important and special if someone asks you to give a speech. I don't know, I'm not sure I really have an opinion on this. Tell me. Tell me what's on your mind.

Roula (01:17)
Okay, so

what's on my mind is that giving a speech at an event is an art.

Rosie (01:28)
⁓ this is, okay, yes.

Roula (01:30)
because speech can lift up the mood or leave people indifferent.

Rosie (01:34)
Yes.

Yeah, send you to sleep.

Roula (01:39)
And

yes, and from my experience from years and recently this experience, people go, yes, it's flattering. It's amazing to give a speech, but you're not if you're not giving a speech to that person alone. Your speech has to speak to everyone else there, make them feel engaged. And I feel so annoyed when people give a speech because first

They don't have a fucking microphone. Second, they're only speaking to that person. Third, they're telling shit that only they understand and no one else. They don't put it in a fucking story, in something. So yeah, so what I want to say is when we ask people...

Rosie (02:22)
you

I was just about to say, so they're not good storytellers, yeah.

Roula (02:34)
to speech for us at our wedding, at our event, at whatever we're doing. We also have to tell them or send them some instructions.

Rosie (02:47)
Write what you expect and be careful who you ask. Not everybody is good at giving a speech and that's okay.

Roula (02:55)
I think most of people are not good at giving a speech because they only prepare what they're going to say, but they never prepared how they're going to say it.

Rosie (02:58)
is true.

right. Yeah.

Roula (03:07)
And it ruins the experience because so I'm going on a rant on something that annoys me. Because, you know, when when the audience doesn't hear what they're saying, they start talking, having conversations, and then the atmosphere is not anymore what the bride or the birthday person. Have imagined it, they wanted people to listen to feel the words.

Rosie (03:11)
You're on a rant, yes.

something that takes you off.

But yeah. Yeah.

Roula (03:35)
to that the words mean something to them. And every time I'm at an event with a speech, I need to get the fuck out of here. This is annoying.

Rosie (03:35)
Yeah.

Really? Clearly you don't know

people who can give good speeches. I feel like you'd give a good speech because you're a great storyteller. I do!

Roula (03:49)
Ew.

I do and I prepare. don't

I like do everything and I can to even make it look like a stand up or even make it and I don't think that I don't say that everyone has to do the same. What I'm saying the minimum minimum a good microphone must be there.

Rosie (04:01)
Yeah.

right.

Or you need to know how to use your voice. It depends on the space and how many people. ⁓

Roula (04:15)
Yes. And second,

the person giving a speech must talk to all the audience and not only the bride, the groom, the birthday person.

Rosie (04:26)
I feel like there's a balance, yeah? You need to involve everybody. But also there might be, you know, an inside joke or just one little thing or one memory that might be specifically for the bride or the groom or the birthday person, whoever. But a good speech to me evokes emotions in the audience. You shouldn't be tuning out because it should be such a great story. You're hanging on every word.

Roula (04:39)
Yeah.

Yes, and the speacher also should must know what what is meaningful for them in the speech means nothing for the listener.

Rosie (05:02)
Hmm.

Yeah, what's the universal message?

Roula (05:07)
See? if, yeah, exactly. They tell, we did this and ⁓ we went to a party, we returned at four in the morning and the door was closed. I mean, I don't care about that. What are you giving me in this speech? And if you want to tell that person things for them, write it in a letter, give them a phone call, go and have a coffee with them and tell them this. If you don't want to engage the people listening,

Rosie (05:18)
already tuning out.

yeah.

Roula (05:36)
then don't do the speech. People feel so honored to give a speech that they feel bad in saying no. And the person asking them to give a speech, they don't think, is this actually the right person to give a speech? You know, yes, she's my best friend. We spend tons of hours together. But is she the right person to say it?

Rosie (05:49)
Yeah.

Y- Right, right... Yeah...

Roula (06:01)
And this is why my message here is that we don't have to make this episode longer than it is. Please know who you ask to give a speech and never give a speech without thoughtful. What are the audience getting out of it? That's it.

Rosie (06:01)
Yeah.

you

Right,

right. It's not a monologue. Yes. It's funny because maybe in a way we're giving a speech through our podcast episodes. So I wonder if we are thinking about our audience and what they want. Sometimes maybe not.

Roula (06:36)
Well, with this episode, definitely not. I'm on a rant, annoyed, telling them what to do. You totally have no engagement with me on this one because if you're going to speech, do it right or don't

Rosie (06:39)
I can't.

not even doing it ourselves.

Roula (06:51)
it.

Rosie (06:53)
Ruler's way or the highway everybody? Let us know your thoughts and we'll catch you in the next one.

Roula (06:58)
Yes, bye.