231: The Opposite of Being Triggered - What Truly Lights You Up?

Roula (00:00)
I'm glad you have the questions today.

Rosie (00:02)
is good huh? was lying in bed last night. Actually no don't think I was in bed, it was in the afternoon. Lying on the floor!

Roula (00:07)
You were lying on the floor.

You were lying to me.

lying on the floor

Rosie (00:16)
No, stop making me laugh.

What's that Alanis Morissette song? Naked on the Bathroom Floor, there's a lyric about. Is it you oughta know? Yeah, oughta know. There's a song with lying naked on the floor. You should look it up. ⁓

Roula (00:30)
Yeah, no, I don't. Not this one. No.

I don't know if the song is called

In Your House. I can't remember.

Rosie (00:42)
you know it.

Lying naked on the floor. I will get to the question. ⁓ is it? It's come up with Natalie and Bruegela torn. don't. Yes, it is. They go. You can listen to that.

Roula (01:01)
So is it Alanis or Natalie? Natalie, yeah. ⁓ torn. I love the song. Yeah, I'm going to write it down so I don't

Rosie (01:03)
It's torn by Natalie and Bruglia. Totally different artist. Yes, that's good.

we've probably done a couple of episodes, but we did an episode and I think it was your question about what ticks us off because both you and I are very opinionated and there are plenty of things that tick us off. But why have we never spoke about, why have we never talked about what the opposite of what ticks us off, what fires us up, what gets us really motivated, what

gives us a spark, if that makes sense. It's easy to talk about what we don't like. Yeah. So tell me.

Roula (01:48)
I love this topic.

I have a lot of things that fire me up. The one that I now have on my mind right away while you're asking your question is dancing.

Rosie (02:02)
Yes. ⁓

yes, it's one of your love languages, isn't it?

Roula (02:08)
Yes, it's one of my love languages, it's one of the things that I desperately seek to feel uplifted and very happy. It's dancing.

Rosie (02:21)
Hmm.

I dancing can

be very passionate and very...

⁓ it could be very vulnerable and there's so many different styles and nuances and it can be by yourself or another person. Yeah. That makes sense. What fires me up? I should have thought about this. Hey, I came up with the question, but I didn't think about my answer. That's a bit flawed.

Roula (02:40)
Yes.

Yeah, about,

but I can share a story about dancing while you're thinking of your fire, firing up. My friends and I, my best friends, the girlfriends, we once a month arranged to go all together to dance at a lesbian bar in Amsterdam. It's called, it was called Vive la vie. It's

Rosie (02:54)
⁓ I'll probably forget to think, but that's okay. Share the story. I love stories.

Mm-hmm.

Roula (03:18)
one of the rare lesbian bars. There are a lot of gay bars, ⁓ men gay bars, but not money for the girls. And we love to go there because we could dance, we feel safe, it's comfortable, we can be silly, we can flirt and have fun and live with a really good feeling. We had fun, it was amazing and we wait for the next one.

Rosie (03:22)
⁓ Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Roula (03:46)
Regretfully, the bar closed because of all the online dating and things changing. No one is going dancing anymore. But we were the diehard, the ones that were there till the last days of the bar. And we go there to dance, you know, we start dancing together and we end up dancing with entire people in the bar. Having the great time ever.

Rosie (03:59)
Wow, I love that. Wow.

And so I can picture this properly.

You and your friends were in your 40s at this time. Yeah, I love that.

Roula (04:16)
Yes, we

did it from our 30s till, I don't know, mid 40s. It was a regular thing. And it's a place where nice music is played. The dance moves are as ridiculous as you can imagine. And the funny part, it has glass walls so people on the street will see there's a party going on inside. the people, this street is full of tourists. Amsterdam is like

Rosie (04:21)
Yeah, yeah, amazing.

Mmm.

Roula (04:46)
packed with tourists. They would look and see what's going on here. Everybody's dancing. And sometimes you see a male tourist coming in and standing there and looking like, I stay here? No, no one is looking at me. No one is dancing with me. And then they, him, his friends, they decide to leave. And we're like, yeah, that's our party.

Rosie (05:02)
Yeah.

listening to this. love it. That's probably something that really does, you know, it, brings me joy listening to yeah. Other people and what lights them up. love hearing stories, giving other people a voice, which I think is why I love podcasting so much. I mean, you and I, obviously we both have voices and I think we'd talk even if the other person didn't let us, on our private podcasts, we have guests.

And we are giving them a platform, allowing them to have their voice and just share their story on their terms. We ask questions. Maybe we direct the conversation a little bit. Ultimately though, it's their story. If the conversation goes in a different direction, that's cool. It's so cool. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. And even just listening to your story about dance, like I would not enjoy going to a club.

Roula (05:58)
That makes you very happy. That's the opposite of ticks you off.

Rosie (06:10)
especially not with glass walls where everybody can watch me. my God, the anxiety would be through the roof. But listening to you and how much you enjoy it and how you and your girlfriends went there, I'm loving it. I'm in such a good mood. Thanks to you.

Roula (06:27)
So tell me, Rosy,

what was the, fires you up? And if fun were, and if fun, what do you do for, you did, you do?

Rosie (06:32)
Yeah, is there a better way of saying that? In a fun way.

what do I do for fun? ⁓

Maybe I need to do more things for fun. I don't know. ⁓ well, I like doing projects on the van, but do they fight me up? I don't know. They can get really frustrating, but I, I've, I feel like there's a purpose when I'm like building things in the van and I achieve something that's really cool. Yeah. Yeah.

Roula (07:03)
So when you were younger, before

the van life and before life's responsibilities hit you, even though I know it hit you at a young age with your parents passing away. So when you were young, what was your most fun thing to do?

Rosie (07:09)
Okay.

Roula (07:21)
Do you remember?

Rosie (07:22)
Why,

why am I having trouble answering that? I remember as a kid, I used to get up every weekend in early in the morning and I would write because as a kid I wanted to be an author. And so I was writing my book. I don't know where those notebooks went. They would have been terrible, but I just loved it. Writing that down and that's something. What else did I like doing? ⁓ saving money. That's going to sound really weird, but I had, ⁓ shut up. No, no,

Roula (07:47)
Boring, but yeah, we are, okay.

Rosie (07:50)
Don't you judge me. didn't judge your dancing. I had this thing called a money tree and it was shut up.

Roula (07:55)
Ugh.

trusted

you in something and you turned it back on me and that was our episode two days ago.

Rosie (08:03)
What? What did I turn back on you? I didn't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I made you realize what you were doing. I feel I said, I listened to you.

Roula (08:05)
Yeah! Go ahead, go ahead!

Okay, dear listeners, we

really need you to, as like a non-biased listeners, I need you to come in here and tell me who's right and who's wrong, Rosie or I?

Rosie (08:29)
Well, that's interesting.

feel that way. Cause when I said that I was trying to make you reflect and go, well, hang on. Rosie didn't tell me my dancing was boring. So maybe I should listen to her story. I didn't feel like I was using your story against you, but clearly you felt that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so it's like, maybe my delivery was a bit off. My delivery.

Roula (08:43)
Saying it this way makes sense, but attacking me with it made me want to defend myself.

Your delivery was crap.

Rosie (08:58)
Lucky we, we like each other. Otherwise I feel like there'd be a fight. Oh, that's funny. I have no idea what, oh yeah. Money tree. There was a money tree. So it was just like this plastic. I don't even know how to describe it, but you, you put your dollar coins, only dollar coins and the coins would stack on top of each other and you'd see it going up this so-called tree and it would fit a hundred gold coins. It would fit a hundred dollars. So I have just always loved saving money, counting money.

earning money, saving up for things, buying things, coming up with a savings plan. That's so sweet.

Roula (09:35)
mean, truth of it, because of your saving skills, you were able to buy the van, renovate it, move into it. you find your purpose.

Rosie (09:41)
True, true.

That's a good way of putting it.

True. Yes. Okay. I'll take that. Yes. I'll take that.

Roula (09:51)
What fires me up are never serious things in life. This is our opposite.

Rosie (09:55)
Yeah that's interesting hey

my examples were kind of serious weren't they? I really need more just light-hearted fun. Yeah. ⁓

Roula (10:01)
Yeah, I don't know if what does this say about us? Superficial and you live

the deep life. Did I? I like do this?

Rosie (10:16)
It's a sign we're having a good time.

Roula (10:18)
It's

a sign we're having a good time. And yeah, what fire there are so many things that fire me up. Thank you. Like planning to go on a vacation. I it makes gives me something to look forward to. And I feel fired up. Yes. In 375 days, we'll go on vacation or in 190 days, we're going on vacation. That's so awesome.

Rosie (10:24)
What else, what else?

⁓ yeah.

Mm.

Yeah.

Roula (10:45)
⁓ Yeah, a lot of things. I also like when people are talking about things they're passionate about or they're making good jokes. Jokes fire me up. I can like go one after the other.

Rosie (10:53)
Yeah.

Isn't

it good when you laugh so hard that it hurts? I haven't laughed like that in so long. Like you and we have really good laughs on this podcast, but a laugh till it hurts. ⁓ that's a rare, that's a rare one.

Roula (11:15)
Yes, I seem to laugh till it hurts mostly with my sisters, which I don't see that often because they live in a different country. Yes, with them, I do have the laugh till it hurts. And if I am so bad that I don't remember, of course, I did have laugh till it hurts in the past year. I hope so. For my sake.

Rosie (11:22)
Mmm, sure, yeah.

Mm.

So

too. Neither. Yeah. Maybe we don't need to remember. It's just living in the moment. Yeah. Actually, that's one thing. I don't think fire up is the right word because that's so like intense, but something that really brings me, I feel what's the word? I feel alive or really grounded and present is just if I'm somewhere really beautiful. Like the other night.

Roula (11:46)
But I don't remember with whom and over what.

No.

Rosie (12:13)
I took Tilly out to the tour. It's nighttime. I looked up and the sky was beautiful. Just all these stars. And I just remember that moment because I was like, ⁓ that makes me feel good inside.

Roula (12:26)
Yes, this, yes, this little moments. Absolutely, absolutely. I was driving. I didn't hear the news and I didn't know that we're having northern light in the Netherlands on that evening. So I was driving and it was evening and the sky was purple and pink, incredible color. And we, me, with my perimenopause brain that is having hard time explaining stuff.

Rosie (12:30)
Mm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roula (12:55)
I was like what the fuck like my eyes why do I see the sky purple and pink it's beautiful I'm driving and I slow down because I really want to look at the sky and enjoy it and it did not cross my mind that this could be a phenomenon this is not usual

Rosie (12:59)
He thought it was you. ⁓

Roula (13:16)
Yes, so these little things, yeah, make me really happy. If suddenly, for example, a song is played, I'm in the supermarket and they play these songs from when before anyone was born. And then a song would come that I haven't heard since I was 13 years old. I don't like in the supermarket singing along with it. That's so cool. I love to listen to this song.

Rosie (13:23)
Yeah.

Mmm.

Love that.

Roula (13:44)
And then I remember, fuck I'm so old to remember this song. It's not cool. It's not cool to remember it.

Rosie (13:52)
I find it cool though,

how a song can just take you back to a moment in time. Bring back, you know, obviously it can be for bad things too, but especially when it's fond memories or a good time in your life. it just, things you might've forgotten, but the song plays and you're instantly like, ⁓ yeah.

Roula (14:12)
Yeah, take me back to that

All right, Rosie, I think we need to wrap this up because it's taking very long and I enjoyed it. Thank you so much for giving me this happy feeling. I can't wait to when we hang up to go and turn on some music and maybe do a dance.

Rosie (14:16)
huh. Okay.

I'm going to go listen

to Torn by Natalie and Bruegela. That's what I'm going to do.

Roula (14:33)
I'm

gonna do that too! Yeah! Alright listeners go and listen to Thorn. Maybe if you like this episode and listen to us till the end you would like also to buy us a cup of coffee. It will help us, it will help our family and not paying for our coffee anymore so we can pay it for ourselves. And subscribe and follow us we appreciate you so much!

Rosie (14:56)
You

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